Thursday, November 19, 2015

"On Fire": So, About Hearing from God About Your Husband...


After posting the blog that's right underneath this one regarding hearing from God about your husband, it was interesting, the responses that I received. I also discern that it was very much so God that the women reached out because time is precious and we all need to make sure that 1) if we're on God's path (Proverbs 3:5-6) we will remain on it; we will stay the course and 2) if we're not, if our emotions are leading us far more than we think that they are (Jeremiah 17:9), we are able to be rerouted. Sooner rather than later.

So, when I was praying for the women who asked me to pray for them (as well as the "On Fire" women in general), the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:12) led me to three main points to share.


God is not going to tell you to marry someone else's husband. Aside from the fact that if you happen to be caught up in an affair, that is coveting (Exodus 20:17), fornicating (Hebrews 13:4) and yes adulterous (Exodus 20:3), no matter how unpopular the message may be, a divorced man is someone else's husband. Just last night, I penned a devotional on the difference between "join" and "separate". The Word says that *no man* is to separate what God has joined. Matthew 19:8(NKJV) goes on to say "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" and I Corinthians 7:10-11(NKJV) goes on to say "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." And then, there are two articles that I recommend you check out to further drive the point home (although honestly, the Word should be enough). One is "The Role of Marriage in the Kingdom of God" and "What God Has Joined Together, Let Not Man Separate, Part 1". Divorced people need space for God to bring healing to their relationship. They can't do that being married to someone else.


It's important to keep in mind the purpose of a husband. One of the main ones being this:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."---Ephesians 5:25-33(NKJV)

Being that a husband is supposed to spiritually cover you and bring you closer to the Lord, there's an article entitled "10 Qualities Your Future Husband Must Have" that's worth checking out. I like it because it talks about what to look for in a man *before* he's your husband. I'll just share the list sans the explanations:

Strong moral code
Good relationship with his family
Understands the sanctity of marriage
Respects human life
Hard work ethic
Shared life goals
Honors your femininity
Knows his purpose in life  

Now, I'm not saying that at the time you heard who your husband is that he will automatically have all of these qualities. What I am saying, though, is that as the two of you grow closer, these characteristics will manifest *before* saying "I will" to a proposal, let alone "I do" at a wedding ceremony (Matthew 12:33). God is not going to set a standard for marriage and husbands and wives and then tell you to marry someone who is going to encourage you to contradict all of these things.

While we're here, some of you may ask "What about Hosea and Gomer?" Good question. In the Bible, there are several couples who were "unequally yoked": Moses and Zipporah and Boaz and Ruth are two who immediately come to mind along with Hosea and Gomer. However, one thing that all three of these couples have in common is the husband was the believer and the wife was not. Being that a woman is to submit to her husband (Genesis 3:16, Ephesians 5:22-24 & Colossians 3:17), it makes a bit more sense why those three were permitted. *The husband was able to lead his wife to the Lord*. Also, when it came to Hosea and Gomer specifically, Hosea was a prophet who was instructed to marry a prostitute so that the world could see what God's covenant/relationship with Israel was like (Hosea 1). Hosea is the exception, not the rule. It takes *an extremely strong relationship with the Lord* to link up with a non-believer. Besides, being that the Word says not to (2 Corinthians 6:11-18)'s really best not to. Just ask anyone you know who did!


Hearing from the Lord is not going to come at the expense of his Word's instructions. Ever. 

One article that's cool to check out, in general, is "7 Ways to Distinguish God’s Voice from the Circumstances of Life". One point that I want to share, specifically as it relates to this message is this:

Remember: God’s primary desire in speaking is for eternal purposes
We limit God to this finite world when we fail to remember He is an infinite God. When we are trying to discern God’s voice through the circumstances of life we should consider how what is happening around us fits into God’s eternal plan to save a lost world from destruction and to mold His children into the image of His Son.

God’s primary activity will be in these areas of our life. I’ve always been able to see how God’s specific plan for me lined up with His desire to invite a world to know Him. If what I sense He is asking me to do would help people know Him or know Him better it is much easier to recognize and affirm the voice of God in my circumstances.

Something that a lot of people have lost sight of (because they see marriage as an end result rather than salvation) is the fact that marriage is to make two people more godly. Period. Of all of the purposes that it serves, that it the top one. One article shares this point about becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24-25):

Being of one flesh is more intimate than being of one soul, one mind, and one heart, because marriage accomplishes what no other relationship can accomplish: man and woman becoming one in the concerns of the flesh...

Marriage is the arena in which all we discover on the way to becoming "like G-d" is put into practice. To be devoted to a relationship means to be devoted to the other person's needs, more so than to your own. It means taking on the other person's needs as though they were yours. In so doing, two people merge into one.

God brings people together (Genesis 2:22) with salvation in mind. *For both of them*. That's why Satan works overtime to mismatch pairs, to get people so lustful/covetous (Exodus 20:17) to be married that this ends up happening: "And He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their soul." (Psalm 106:15) That's why we have to be careful that the world and all of its lust and pride-filled agendas (I John 2:16) does not influence us to the point that we are romanticizing what we want to hear rather than actually listening to what God is saying (Proverbs 28:9-Message)

"God, who is going to make me more like you? God who is going to keep me from disobeying your Word? God who is going to make me better with them than I am apart?" That is the prayer that all of us should be praying concerning who our future husband is because that is a prayer that is within the Father's will for our lives (I John 5:14-15). In asking that question, you can better trust the answer that you receive. When God chooses to give it to you.

As we're all praying about this particular area of our lives, hopefully this has provided even more clarity.

James 1:17 tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from above. Marriage is a gift. 

It's not a right.
It's not something God owes.
It's not something we should automatically expect to have simply because we want it.

It is something that comes with a lot of responsibility. 
It is something that we have to trust God to give us---if and when he sees fit.
It is something that is divine.

Hearing about if/when you'll receive a husband...
Is basically hearing "Daughter, I know just the one who will bring you closer to me than you've ever been."

Anything less is...deception (Matthew 24:4).

Hearing comes by hearing the Word of God...
To hear who your husband is...
Listen to the Word, wise counsel from others and pay attention to your character and "his".

Don't listen to or follow your heart...
It has a way of tricking us...
Emotions usually do.



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