Friday, December 11, 2015
"On Fire": Another Way to Look at a BREAK. UP.
Although I personally think...
That oftentimes we make breaking up with someone *so much more tragic on our own selves* than it has to be, I still felt it was one that Ms. Badu's quote needed to be shared because I appreciated how she said that if you keep...not accepting that someone doesn't want to be with you by trying to be with them anyway, eventually you will *hurt your own self enough* that you will stop.
You will stop not listening to what he said.
You will stop not accepting the reality of things.
You will stop humiliating yourself.
Trust me, I've been there.
I would know.
Being that this is the time of year when a lot of people reevaluate their relationships and sometimes that leads to accepting that it's better to end it, I wanted to share a bit of food for thought about break ups.
Have you ever wondered why they aren't referred to as "break offs" more often? Indeed, when you're going through one, whether you're the initiator or not, there is usually not something that is even remotely pleasant about the experience. Just the very definitions of break are...hard to take. One is "to smash, split, or divide into parts violently; reduce to pieces or fragments ". Another is "to infringe, ignore, or act contrary to (a law, rule, promise, etc.)". Another is "to lacerate; wound". And still another is "to destroy or interrupt the regularity, uniformity, continuity, or arrangement of; interrupt". There's also one that simply means "to stop".
Then I looked up the word "up". One of them is "to, toward, or in a more elevated position". Ah! And that made me think of the quote that says (paraphrased) sometimes things have to become completely shattered so that you can rebuild. And in the case of a break up, *rebuilding yourself*.
Break ups can be hard (which is a part of the reason why the Word tells us to "guard our heart"--Proverbs 4:23) yet when we choose to look at them from another definition of up, which is "above the horizon", oftentimes they are the best things that could ever (EVER) happen to us. Because the split, the ignored promise, the interrupted arrangement, the stopping of the relationship could be the very thing that could end up elevating you in position!
I'm not sure if whoever came up with the term "break up" meant it in this fashion but I just wanted to share it as food for thought. If you sense that a break up is on the way, stay above the horizon of your feelings and embrace that an end is always connected to a beginning.
Another thing that I'll certainly vouch for is sometimes a break up is *absolutely* the best thing to EVER happen to you. You won't grow, develop...ELEVATE any other way. And besides, a husband is an upgrade from a boyfriend. The sooner you let who is less than what you deserve go, the sooner you can get to who you were created for.
Go through the break up.
For what's next.