"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'"---Genesis 2:18(NKJV)
It's been a while...
Since I've quoted a piece from Baggage Reclaim (there really are some good pieces on there); however, the one I saw today had some points that I really felt needed to be shared. The title of it is "Don't Conflate (to fuse into one entity; merge) Common Interests with Character and Shared Core Values". Here are some excerpts:
It’s not the biggest leap in the universe to think that because you’ve met somebody who shares similar interests to you that you also share similar values, but in practice, it’s an enormous leap that ignores the fact that a person could have a fundamentally different character and set of desires to you while still working in the same field, or enjoying the same shows, or enjoying the same hobbies and interests...
You could meet somebody who shares all or most of your interests and they may be the opposite of the core values that you represent.
Those interests will ensure that you have a good time together to a point and that you also have something to talk about, but if their values are the opposite of the values you embody or are even working towards, your relationship will not work and you will run out of things to talk about that relate to adding depth and strength to your relationship. You will be with a wine buff, 90s hip-hop loving person who you cannot rely on and who doesn’t want to be and do the things that stack up to a mutually fulfilling relationship.
If they’re not sharing your core values, the ones that speak for your character and also the direction and depth of your life, you’re just play-acting at a relationship and effectively trying to make a pig’s ear into a silk purse. They might make great ‘casual relationship’ (oxymoron alert) partners, friends, colleagues etc, but to commit to a long term romantic relationship with? Um, no.
She is so right.
SHE. IS. SO. RIGHT.
It's like what I sometimes say in devos, on here and when I'm public speaking: "God did not say that he would give man someone to 'love'. He said he would make someone comparable to him." As followers of the Word and also as women who desire to be married to God's will/best for us, someone who has common interests with us should not outshine their character (based on what the bible defines godly character to be-Colossians 3:12-17) nor should it overshadow our yearning to be with the one who is, as Genesis 2:18 says, is *comparable* to us.
Comparable means "capable of being compared; having features in common with something else to permit or suggest comparison". Comparable means "similar". One definition of compare is "to appear in a similar standing". One Hebrew word used in reference to comparable is "damah". It means "to be like" and to "resemble".
Being that God is Spirit (John 4:24), we're told to "walk in the Spirit" (Galatians 5:16-17) and marriage is defined as being a "faith-based union" (Hebrews 11, 2 Corinthians 5:7), when our Heavenly Father speaks of making us comparable to our spouse, it's not about if we both like pizza and/or action films and/or rainy days. First and foremost, it's about if our spirit natures are in sync (hence us being told to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers-2 Corinthians 6:11-18).
Our spirits need to be alike.
Our spirits need to resemble God (Genesis 1:26-28).
Our spirits, the godly part of us, need to have so much in common with "him" that we seem very similar---to our husbands.
So that our spirits can represent covenant and do kingdom work---together.
In a way that no other two spirits, becoming one, ever could. Or will.
So, as you're finding more and more about "him"...
Don't put "common traits" over *comparable*.
One thing is cool.
But the other? That is oh so very divine!