"Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him."---Genesis 2:18(AMPC)
"Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands."---Proverbs 14:1(AMPC)
"A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long."---Proverbs 31:10-12(Message)
I can't recall...
If I've shared this exact video before. It doesn't matter though because it's still relevant and worth (re)watching. Although I haven't seen Justin Cox post anything in several years, I've always liked that he's a pastor and takes such a user-friendly and applicable approach (Matthew 13:13) to Scripture.
Take this video on unequally yoked relationships, for example:
He opens it up with a throwback movie about Samson and Delilah (Judges 16). *sigh* Poor Samson. The very thing he was called to do was conquer the Philistines. Instead, through the wiles of a woman, he allowed them to play a role in his demise.
And that's already a great starting point...
Whomever God has for you?
He is only going to help you to become stronger in your purpose...
As you help him to become stronger in his...
THE FIRST PURPOSE BEING REFLECTING THE LIKENESS OF GOD'S IMAGE (GENESIS 1:26-28).
I really do encourage you to watch the video in its entirety, but I am going to share some of the initial points that Pastor Cox makes in it when it comes to signs that you're unequally yoking yourself to someone else (something that the Word says NOT to do, by the way):
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?
What harmony can there be between Christ and Belial [the devil]? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?
What agreement [can there be between] a temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God; even as God said, I will dwell in and with and among them and will walk in and with and among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.
So, come out from among [unbelievers], and separate (sever) yourselves from them, says the Lord, and touch not [any] unclean thing; then I will receive you kindly and treat you with favor,
And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."---2 Corinthians 6:14-18(AMPC)
Again, this is not a *suggestion*. This is a *command*.
According to the video, here are some of the ways to know if you're being obedient to the Word. Or not (paraphrased).
1) When you get too clingy, does the person you're seeing like it or redirect your attention to God?
2) Since your relationship, have you been sinning against God more now than before?
3) How often does the person you're with initiate things like prayer, devotions, bible studies, etc.? If there's no initiation, especially from the dude's side of spiritual things...what are y'all doing?
4) Are there some areas in your life that you know you would not have grown in without this person's spiritual help and advice? Are they helping you grow, straight up?
It's right there where I'm going to stop, although he has six other points...
It bothers me when I'll hear single/engaged people tell me that their relationship is godly when it doesn't bear fruit of godliness. And when know that Matthew 12:33 tells us that a tree is known by its fruit. Fruit is "anything produced or accruing; product, result, or effect; return or profit" and one thing that believers and especially disciples (John 8:31-32) are supposed to bear are Fruit of the Spirit:
"But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [[f]that can bring a charge]."---Galatians 5:22-23(AMPC)
If a relationship is "being holy because God is holy" (I Peter 1:16), it's not only going to be loving, but in dating/courtship situation, there is going to be patience and self-control too. And a big part of that reason is going to be because both people are going to know that 1) the Word says that love does no harm (Romans 13:8-10) and 2) they want to do their part to make one another stronger and better rather than weaker and worse.
This resolve is echoed several times throughout Scripture...
Genesis 2:18 says that God makes wives to HELP men.
If you're truly (and truthfully) helping a man, you are "to give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively with; aid; assist".
Proverbs 14:1 says a wise woman builds her house.
If you're a builder, you are truly (and truthfully) helping a man, you work "to establish, increase, or strengthen".
Proverbs 31:10 says that a good woman is worth more than diamonds and her husband trusts her.
If you're trustworthy, you are "deserving of trust or confidence; dependable; reliable".
You can't provide a man with what he needs...
You can't contribute to his strength...
You can't help to increase him...
You can't prove that you are dependable and reliable...
If you're helping a man to spiritually compromise or regress in any way.
And for the record, I'm not just talking about sexually, although to participate in an act with a man that brings judgment (Hebrews 13:4) and keeps him from entering into the kingdom of God (I Corinthians 6:9-10), not to mention defiles his temple (I Corinthians 6:16-20-Message), you are not even remotely loving or helpful. In no way is that making him stronger or better.
However, I mean helping him across the board....
Stronger means "having, showing, or able to exert great bodily or muscular power; physically vigorous or robust".
Stronger means "mentally powerful or vigorous".
Stronger means "especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect".
Stronger means "powerful in influence, authority, resources, or means of prevailing or succeeding".
Better means "morally superior; more virtuous".
Better means "larger; greater".
Better means "improved in health; healthier than before".
IF YOU ARE GOOD FOR A MAN, HE WILL BE *MORE* OF A MAN THAN HE WAS BEFORE KNOWING YOU. *ESPECIALLY SPIRITUALLY*.
HE WILL BE MORE MENTALLY POWERFUL AND MORE SPIRITUALLY COMPETENT AND MORE SPIRITUALLY INFLUENTIAL AND AUTHORITATIVE AND MORE MORALLY SUPERIOR AND MORE VIRTUOUS AND GREATER AND IN BETTER MIND, BODY AND SPIRITUAL HEALTH THAN EVER BEFORE!
If you can't say that about the person you're with or the relationship you're in...
Something is not right.
If you can't say he's doing this for you...
Something ain't right.
You're in the kind of relationship that is not even remotely close to God's design for what marriage is to be. It's time to do some *serious* reevaluating. Quick, fast and in a hurry!
It was fitting that Pastor Cox started the video with that Samson and Delilah clip. That woman did nothing but seduce and weaken that man. She was not a good woman. She was a counterfeit.
Please don't allow how the world operates (I John 2:16) to cause you to minimize what a godly relationship is to represent. Purpose, holiness and covenant.
In a relationship, you're either doing one of two things...
You're helping to make a man stronger and better.
Or weaker and spiritually worse.
What's the FRUIT of your situation?
Please choose wisely.