Sunday, February 14, 2016
"On Fire": (GIVEAWAY) V-Day Token for the Brokenhearted
"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit."---Psalm 34:18(NKJV)
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."---Psalm 147:3(NKJV)
I tend to be a very get-down-to-the-roots-of-it kind of girl...
Which means I don't observe many holidays because I have studied their origin. But if there is one that is right up my alley, it's Valentine's Day---although perhaps not for the reasons a lot of folks might think!
The commericalism of it, the unnecessary pressure people put on one another due to it, etc. is utterly ridiculous. God's love is free, calm, abundant and drama-free. A lot of us could stand to remember that no matter what our relational status might be or how today shakes out. No, I like Valentine's Day because of this:
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
A martyr for marriage! *Dig that!*
But as I was doing some praying and reading this morning, I "happened upon" (Proverbs 15:33-AMP) an article that had me be like "OK Lord. A giveaway to the women who feel brokenhearted today, it is!" The title of it is "There’s one crucial life lesson on which both CEOs and marriage counselors agree" and here's an excerpt:
Last month at Davos, the exclusive conference in the Swiss mountains that essentially celebrates success in business, Quartz asked some of the world’s most powerful business leaders about what they looked for in employees. One response was more common than any other: they want to hire people who have failed.
Why? Because failing is a great way to learn. And since failing is inevitable, you’re better off working with people who know how to deal with it.
Arguably, the same goes for those times when we experience the most painful part of love—the failure of a relationship.
When you break up with someone “you find find the fault lines in your life crack and open,” says Andrew G. Marshall, a marital therapist and author of several books, including one on breakups. “You have two choices at that point,” he notes. “Most people say ‘I don’t like these cracks’,” and do things to distract themselves from the pain.
A better approach is “to sit with the pain,” he says. Eventually that means finding out what there is to learn from it, and moving on.
With the benefit of looking back from a long distance (it didn’t really work close-up), I can recognize the lessons from my own heartbreak. But I also have another close example. I’d known the man who would become my husband for years before anything romantic happened between us, and had been “ready” for a new relationship for a long while before our fairly cool dynamic changed, almost overnight, to something utterly different. Perhaps it was an accident of timing, or opportunity. But one major thing changed in the interim: he fell deeply in love with someone else. And he lost her.
Maybe the pain of the break-up changed him, however slightly, into someone with whom I had more common ground. Maybe requited love forces the openness of heart that makes an eventual heartbreak so wrenching; getting over that pain, but keeping that openness, makes us more able to love again.
I agree! I was just telling someone, yesterday I believe, that far too many people end up picking *the wrong person* because they are choosing out of *their brokenness* rather than their *wholeness* and oftentimes when you're broken, you're ill-equipped to make wise decisions. Then you end up rebounding. Or settling. Or biblically-compromising. Or allowing someone to emotionally manipulate you. Or rushing things to move much faster than they need to go.
So in honor of the women who may feel brokenhearted (burdened with great sorrow, grief, or disappointment) today, I've prayed about it and I have something for you. Hit me up at email@example.com with answers to the following questions:
1) Is your broken heart due to the end of a relationship or hurt in a relationship?
2) Do you sense that you settled in some way?
3) How can I pray for you?
This doesn't have to be a day that you want to act like doesn't exist...
It can be a day worth celebrating...
The day when your healing begins!!!
Oh, and pray for God to bring you a man with a heart like this guy: "Teen wins Valentine's Day, buys 900 flowers and gives one to every girl at school". My mom *always* says women should desire a man who is *kind* (I Corinthians 13:4) most of all! Amen!