Tuesday, March 29, 2016
"On Fire": Would God Say You're Making the Most Out of Your Singleness?
"But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction."---I Corinthians 7:32-34(NKJV)
A couple of days ago...
I read "Why Single Women Are Quicker to Jump Into Entrepreneurship". Check it out when you get a chance but basically it's citing points similar to what the Apostle Paul said---only from a business angle.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of wives I know who are not...living up to their true potential---or biblical definition---of what it means to be a wife. A big part of the reason is because they're trying to "act single" while *being marriage*.
No, I don't mean they are not being faithful to their husband. I'm saying that under God, they are not making their spouse their top priority. Genesis 2:18 is clear about what a woman's first, main and top role is and no matter how the world fights this point (I John 2:16), it's to help man. That's why it's IMPERATIVE that you allow God to bring you (Genesis 2:22) to the one whose purpose you believe in, you are passionate about and you know you have the character, spiritual gifts, talents *and temperament* to get behind and support.
In other words...
Don't marry a doctor if you want a man with a set daily work schedule.
Don't marry a missionary or someone in the military if you hate to travel.
Don't marry someone in the entertainment industry if you have a jealousy streak.
Don't marry a pastor if you don't like going to church on a consistent basis.
Don't marry a writer if you're not prepared to provide chunks of time for his solitude.
I think you get where I'm going with that...
PURPOSE IS IMPERATIVE.
Case in point. A friend of mine sent me an article over the weekend entitled "Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ's Mission First". It might sound odd at first, but he brings up some pretty great points:
In a video message recently shared by ChurchLeaders.com, Chan says that after many Christians get married they place Christ's mission on the back burner, spending their days in the bubble of relationships, children and the comfort of security. The preacher challenges married Christians to stoke the flames of their passion for Christ and his work, and to step out of their comfort zones to take more risks to further His Kingdom.
Chan, who's been married to his wife, Lisa, for over 20 years and has seven children, asks, "Could I be an example of someone who's married and has kids and is still thinking 'Kingdom first?'" He adds, "Your mission with the Lord doesn't end when you get married," giving examples of how when people date, or get married, or have children their focus tends to shift from standing on the front lines for Christ to pouring the majority of their time and energy into nurturing and protecting their relationship, family and security.
"... It's not about going out in the harvest and being a worker [anymore]. It's about 'let's protect our family now ... let's keep us safe. Let's find some gated community and keep them all in our house — away from all the bad people.' There's no excuse for that."
The preacher says that the mentality of only worrying about oneself and one's family causes believers, and even their children, to miss out on life.
"That's why so many of the kids, when they turn 18, they just ditch God altogether," says Chan. "Because they didn't see anything real in your life. They didn't see that [sense of] adventure, and you didn't put yourself in positions where God had to come through — and then [when] He comes through and your whole family is going, 'Wow, that was amazing! I am never going to leave that God.' No, you just create a little bubble for yourself ... how is God even going to operate in that?"
Chan wants Christians to "surrender our lives" to take risks for Christ and to be examples of living by faith.
The foundation of marriage is not about two people imitating some romantic movie. It's about two beings coming together to serve God better and stronger than they were able to alone. It's about a man and a woman balancing each other in the roles of husband and wife. It's about two people being an example of how covenant works on this earth.
The Godhead agree as one (I John 5:8)...
A husband and wife become one (Genesis 2:24-25).
A spiritually mature couple knows this...
They are as passionate about purpose as they are about one another...
More about purpose, in fact (Psalm 20:4).
And in order to be this focused as a married person...
You have to first be this driven and devoted as a single individual.
This is where the video "Do You See Singleness as a gift?" comes in:
1) God gives us different seasons
2) Singleness helps us to secure an undistracted devotion to the Lord
3) 1+1=4 financially (marriage causes costs to go up)
4) There are added details and responsibilities that you don't have when you're single
5) Singleness affords you the opportunity to just...GO
6) Don't use your whole single experience to pin away about marriage
7) See it for what it is: ORDAINED BY GOD
This brings us to another powerful speaker. She's a former lesbian who speaks quite boldly. In fact, if you know someone who battles with same-sex attraction, shoot them this video:
However, check out this one too:
I really liked it when she said "I've seen where a healthy desire, turns into idolatry very easy. You'll pursue this idea of marriage and man where because your pursuit has not even been out of wisdom, in some senses, you'll settle for anything."
I'm not sure if a lot of women realize how much they want a man over their purpose or God himself. But if in your prayer time, having a man, wanting to be in a relationship or being upset that you're not in one comes up more than pretty much anything else, that's a clue and cue that something is severely out of balance.
I Corinthians 14:40 tells us that God does things in a decent order. And you know what? Not one human being enters this world with a married status. This means that for all of us, for a season (Ecclesiastes 3), singleness is a part of God's plan. His will. His desire for our lives. It's our responsibility to seek him (Matthew 7:7-8) about what that is.
So yeah. Sometime this week, in your prayer and devotion time, ask the Father:
"Am I truly making the most out of my singleness?"
"Am I devoting myself to you and my purpose in a way that makes you proud?"
"Do I realize that I am to embrace this time to become a whole woman before being anyone's wife?"
"Well done, thy good and faithful servant" is an affirmation that can be applied even to our singleness...here's hoping (Romans 5:5) and praying that more of us will want to hear that from God concerning our singleness way before hearing "Will you marry me?" from our future husband.