Friday, July 29, 2016

"On Fire": (VIDEO) RELAX. Love Is on the Way!

via Heather Lindsey #jesus #God #single ❤:


This morning, I was watching a video from a married couple that I may have featured on here before. Their last name is Jennings. He's a professional athlete and they have four children. As I was watching the story of how they met, one word came to mind. "RELAXED". And that reminded me of a verse in Scripture that a spiritual sistah once sent me several years ago:

"Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!"---Jude 1:2(Message)

If you read the context of this verse, it's not marriage. It's telling us that God's love will come to embrace and comfort us. However, it is still relevant for this blog because what we all need to remember is GOD CREATED MARRIAGE (Genesis 2:18-25). This means he knows who should be married and when.

*How many of us really and truly believe that, though?*

I mean, why do you think we're provided verses, in the form of biblical instruction, that tell us things like "BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING" (Philippians 4:6-7)? To be anxious is to be "full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous" and "earnestly desirous; eager". The Word tell us NOT to be this way. Marriage is not exempt from the list.

So, why is the Bible so big on being relaxed? Being calm?

I discern it's because when we're in that mindset, it's evidence that we really and truly are "walking by faith and not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). Here's why I say that:

"On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, 'Let us cross over to the other side.' Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, 'Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?'

Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, 'Peace, be still!' And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, 'Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?' And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, 'Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!'"---Mark 4:35-41(NKJV)

In the storm, Christ was asleep. If we're in Christ, when storms of life come, our spirits should be at rest too, right? Why? Because of our faith in the Lord! After Christ rebuked the wind, told the sea to be at peace and a calm came over the waters, his next action was to ask the disciples---the Word-abiders (John 8:31-32)---"Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"

Marriage is a faith-based union. Of course it is!

If right now, you're worrying (something else we're told not to do--Matthew 6:25-34) about your relational status or when you'll be married, WHERE IS YOUR FAITH? In what? In God (Mark 11:22).

We as women, we *definitely* need to get calmness down *prior to marriage* because we are called/made/expected to HELP our husbands (Genesis 2:18). If we can't---meaning if we are choosing not to---submit to God himself (James 4:7) in our single state, if can't be content with what he provides (Hebrews 13:5), if we're constantly up in arms with him about wanting a man (something he does not owe us, by the way) can he even entrust us to someone who is human...who will make mistakes...who, at times, will fail us.

Yep. Wanna know one sign that you are ready for marriage?
YOUR SPIRIT IS CALM (Proverbs 17:27).

And that's why I like the Jennings so much...

Their story did not happen overnight. It's actually quite sweet and endearing. And as you watch them tell it, they seem at peace. Calm. RELAXED. The way love should be.

This is the fruit of what *healthy love* looks like.

Wanna get ready for your marital future?

Ask God to show you how to RELAX...
And bring love your way...
In HIS time. Not yours. (Ecclesiastes 3:11, Acts 1:7--Message)

Amen. And amen.

Proverbs 12:4,


"On Fire": (VIDEOS) 'Chase God, Not Boaz' and 'Don't Waste Your Singleness'

The Three C's for Single Christian Women:

I ALWAYS like it when godly men speak on relationships...

Proverbs 12:4,


Wednesday, July 13, 2016

"On Fire": (VIDEO) 'I Don't Have Bad Sex'

"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."---I Corinthians 7:1-5(NKJV)


Some stuff is so good, it's recommended to just watch it. I'll say this on the front end. Pray first. This is the kind of message that shows sex is a very real and spiritual way that I've never heard addressed quite in this fashion before. It's not something to take lightly and you'll need to give your full attention to it. No matter who you are, it's gonna bring some revelation (Psalm 18:28. Guaranteed!

If you wanna rock a shirt that says "I Don't Have Bad Sex" on it (because fornication IS bad sex), click here to order one!

Proverbs 12:4,


"On Fire": Ask God to 'GUARD YOUR HEART' on the Front End

"Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."---Proverbs 4:23(AMPC)


I wish I could find the quote that inspired this post. It said "God, if he's not the one, then don't let me fall in love with him."

I liked it for two reasons...

One is because kudos to "her" for being *spiritually mature enough* (Hebrews 5:12-14) to ask God to protect her *on the front end*. Far too many of us throw caution to the wind, literally, do whatever it is we want to do with our heart, body and time *and then* ask God to clean up our mess. Or to make a man love us. Or convince some guy to do something that he either doesn't want to do or isn't ready to do.

Secondly, the "don't MAKE me fall" caught my attention. 2 Timothy 1:7 is a familiar verse, but I'm not so sure it's one that we really sit and ponder (Proverbs 4:26) much. The spirit God has given us contains power, love *and* a sound mind. God is not going to control our emotions because he gave us free will. But what he also did was provide us with the ability to choose how to handle our feelings. We have power and a sound mind. Not just love in us. It's smart to remember that.

Then I thought about all of this on a broader scale, especially after reading this quote online a couple of days ago:

At first the quote caught me off guard because, as you can see, it's talking about goals and then it's going into relationship traits. Yet as I read it over again, I was like "YES!" RELATIONSHIP GOALS!

A goal is "the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end".

I have sat in enough relationship counseling sessions to know that a lot of people didn't have actual relationship goals other than to "get married". *That's not good*. If all you want is a husband, you could end up with a wedding ring and someone's last name, but not God's best for you. The goal needs to be a lot higher than that! The effort needs to be put towards preparing one's self for the person GOD WOULD BE PROUD for you to be with.

And in order for that to happen...
There first needs to be the goal of asking God to help you to guard your heart.


I don't mean to put up a barbed wire fence. That's not protection, that's pain. I mean to do something along the lines of what the Shulamite woman asked of her friends in Song of Solomon: "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right." (Song of Solomon 8:4--NKJV)

Yeah, that needs to be the response a lot of us give folks at church (and in our family) when they're like "So when are YOU going to get married?" Speaking the word casts out more than demons (LOL)!

We have to remember that our hearts, the center of our emotions, they are special to God. The lead Scripture shows us one of the reasons why! Issues of life come from them!

And did you peep the word "vigilance"? That means to be alert and watchful. In the New King James Version, vigilant comes up two other times. Colossians 4:2 tells us to continue earnestly in our prayers while being vigilant in our thanksgiving and I Peter 5:8(NKJV) tells us "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

*Satan hates our hearts*. This is a part of the reason why we're instructed by God to love him with ALL of it (Mark 12:30-31)! If we're not vigilant with our emotions, it can set us up to give ourselves to people who God never intended us to. Then when they hurt our hearts, it makes it that much harder and takes that much longer for them to heal. And for us to be the whole and complete person that God knows our future husband deserves for us to have (James 1:4).

So yeah, we need to do what the picture quote says...

Quit doing what we want or "following our heart" (Jeremiah 17:9) *and then* asking God to get involved.

Instead, *the very moment* we feel an interest in someone, we first need to remember to be ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING (OR ONE--Philippians 4:6-7) and then ask the Lord to reveal their purpose and to remove them if they are not directly sent by him...or if he is not bringing us to them (Genesis 2:22) for a divine purpose. And then *walk by faith* (2 Corinthians 5:7), in God (Mark 11:22) to release what isn't his will and embrace what is. And to keep our views under his wisdom!

This one thing can spare a lot of drama, trust me.

Wanna get right for who God has for you?
Ask God to show you how to guard your heart.

Proverbs 12:4,


Sunday, July 3, 2016

"On Fire": Are You 'Properly Dressed'? #PROVERBS31

Godly Dating 101, Every Jewel begins with J ……..Jesus:


I think what he means is a godly woman *couldn't* care less. I still dig the quote, tho.

Anyway, as I was doing some praying about the "On Fire" women earlier this week, a line in Proverbs 31 kept running on repeat in my mind. Over and over and over:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
---Proverbs 31:25(NLT)

If you do research on the historical context of Proverbs 31, it was apparently the eulogy that Abraham wrote for Sarah. I believe I've shared that before. It's good to keep in mind because a eulogy shares what's happened over the course of someone's entire life. That alone, should take some of the pressure off to be this kind of woman---all at once!

However, if there's one part of it that should be a constant, whether single or married, it's that we all should strive to be the kind of woman who is clothed with strength and dignity. The kind of woman who laughs without fear of the future.

These are some of the characteristics of a virtuous woman...
Can you say that you have them?

A strong woman is a woman who is "physically vigorous".
A strong woman is a woman who is "mentally powerful".
A strong woman is a woman who is "able and competent in a particular field".

How strong are you?

A woman with dignity is a woman with self-respect.
A woman with dignity knows that she is worthy of honor.
A woman worthy of honor is worthy of integrity, honesty and favor.

A woman who is clothed in dignity doesn't undress for a man who is not her husband. 
A woman who is clothed in dignity doesn't say one thing and do another. #integrity
A woman who is clothed in dignity is honest. With herself and those around her.

How "dignified" are you?

And what I really like is a part that I hope we all pray more about...


I talk to a lot of women who lack this part of the "virtue requirement". They are good women but they live in a lot of fear. Even though God does not give us fear (2 Timothy 1:7) and perfected love casts out fear (I John 4:18). You know, while a lot of us are praying about being married, what we need to be praying more about is being delivered from fear!

Fear is not only "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid". Fear is also "concern or anxiety; solicitude". The Word doesn't say "You might not want to be anxious so much." The Word instructs us "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7--NKJV) That is not a recommendation. THAT IS A COMMAND. When we're anxious, we need to pray. With a spirit of thanksgiving (that is key)!

Why? Because God is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end (Revelation 1:8). He is the One who makes everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). He is the One who determines if we're mature enough for marriage. Or not (Matthew 19:11-12). He is the One who decides who truly is the "good and perfect gift" in the form of a husband (James 1:17) for us. He is the One who makes our way perfect (2 Samuel 22:33). He is the One who joins husbands and wives together (Matthew 19:6). He is the One who uses us to bring favor into a man's life (Proverbs 18:22) and appoints husbands to love us as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25-33).

I'll be the first to say that oftentimes we don't need to be wondering where our husband is...
We need to be getting into the Word so we can remind ourselves about who God is!

Come on young girls! Believe this! GODLY | Proverbs 31 Woman:

Case in point...

One day, prayerfully, I'll share a journey that I've been on. For now, I'll just say that although God does not tempt us (James 1:12-13), he does test us at times (ask the Lord to reveal to you the difference in your own walk--Psalm 7:9). We can't please him without having faith in him (Hebrews 11:6, Mark 11:22) and believers are called to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).

That said...

Due to some tests I've been through lately, on Friday night, I asked God to provide me with a clear sign about whether or not I needed to continue to do some things I've been assigned to. I am very much a signs and wonders kind of person (Daniel 4:2-3). God tends to speak to us in the way *he created us* to hear from him (that differs from person to person---Psalm 33:15).

Anyway, I made my request, went to bed and woke up with an email from a girlfriend of mine asking me to call her. A girlfriend of mine who "pops up" at the most "random" of times (Proverbs 16:33--AMPC) in the journey with dreams that she has...about my journey.

This time, she was geeked to tell me that *Friday night*, she had a dream about my wedding day. She said what moved her so much was I tend to remain pretty even with my disposition. "Shellie, you already know what you rarely get excited about ANYTHING but you were SO EXCITED on your wedding day. It got me excited! I just wanted to tell you that."

Couldn't make it up if a tried!

I haven't talked to my girlfriend about my journey in months! I've become more prayerful than talkative about it. So, she was a confirmation sent to me, from the Lord, for sure! A confirmation that when you strive for virtue, God handles the rest. There *is* no reason to fear about the future. He's already there! Don't you *ever* forget that!

It's a new week...

As you get ready for each day, ask yourself...


In strength...
In dignity...
In fearlessness about the future!

Proverbs 12:4,




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