Saturday, August 6, 2016
"On Fire": 5 Things You Can Know for Sure About GOD'S BEST MAN for You
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."---Ephesians 5:25-33(NKJV)
So many want "somebody" rather than *God's best*...
And because of that, for so many single women, it's the million dollar question, is it not?
Will God tell me who my husband is?
I thought about this quite a bit as I was praying for the "On Fire" women last night and today. The Holy Spirit led (Luke 12:12) me to a few points.
First, from the article "Does God Tell Us Who We’re Supposed to Marry?", I dig the bottom line resolve of the author:
First, is God capable of telling us who we’ll marry?
I believe that God can do anything. He’s spoken through donkeys, and angels, and out of burning bushes. He could write a name in the sky without paying a dollar for a cheesy skywriter. It is possible.
And in some cases, yes, he does tell us their name.
And I know why we’re asking for one. We want to do this right. We want God’s will over our own. We want a Godly relationship. And we think that by praying for a name—asking about God’s will for our future relationships—we’re acting out of faith.
But I think we need to take another look at faith.
Faith is walking forward when you don’t know what the destination looks like. It’s stepping into the river not knowing if it’s going to stop or wash you away.
In insisting on an answer, we’re not stepping out in faith. We’re stepping out only when we know we have a Godly insurance policy that our greatest dreams will come true...
We want an answer, a name, that moment of reassurance, and we want it right now.
I met the Lord and, I kid you not, weeks later I was already looking up at him expectantly—“God, I’m ready, where is my husband?” God was kind not to audibly laugh from heaven, because not for a second was I ready to get married.
In all of this, the question is not “Can God tell you who you’re going to marry,” or even “will he?”
I think the question is something more like this: What are you focusing on?
Are you listening for who God is telling you to love that day—the person on the street, the guy in your class, your mom—or are you listening for the name of someone who you may be YEARS away from being good for?
Are you spending your time listening for this insurance that you will not be alone? Or are you diving into friendships, family, and your relationship with the Lord and finding out that you never were alone in the first place?
Amen. A lot of women don't realize (or maybe the better word is "accept") that God gives us no one to worship, to make our savior or to preoccupy us to the point that they end up taking his place. I was just penning a devotional on secrets from the Lord and one thing that you can be sure of is he doesn't give us things that will tempt us (James 1:13-14). If a husband is going to be an idol for us (Exodus 20:3), it's not something we're ready to have. *God must be our all and all*. Period.
Another article brings up another stellar point that far too many of my counseling sessions prove to be true:
First, we should make sure that we are ready to marry. We must have enough maturity to look beyond the here and now and be able to commit ourselves to joining with this one person for the rest of our lives. We must also recognize that marriage requires sacrifice and selflessness. Before marrying, a couple should study the roles and duties of a husband and wife (Ephesians 5:22-31; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16; Colossians 3:18-19; Titus 2:1-5; 1 Peter 3:1-7).
It is UNBELIEVABLY ARROGANT to think you are ready and simply waiting on someone else. Marriage is serious and no matter how many people treat it like a dating situation, it's for life (Romans 7:2-3, Matthew 19:1-12)! God knows when you're in the position, especially spiritually, to help someone else (Genesis 2:18). When you're spiritually mature enough to surrender to submission rather than fight it (Ephesians 5:22-24). When you're going to say vows and *actually keep them* (Ecclesiastes 5:1-7). The Message Version of Acts 1:7 tells us "Timing is the Father's business. What you’ll get is the Holy Spirit." Until you're ready to be joined to your husband, God's provides a very special gift and teacher. Genesis 2:18 defines women as helpers. John 14:26(AMPC) calls the Holy Spirit one. Wanna know how to be a wife? How to get ready for the position? Spend quality time with the Holy Spirit!
Then I saw another interesting article...
Click here to read the source of this infographic...
To a certain extent, the article is correct. It's not a Word-based one, so we shouldn't be surprised that a critical point---one that so many people both in and out of the Church choose to overlook---is missing. The *spiritual* component.
You know what they say...
If you wanna get closer to what you do want...
X out what you DON'T WANT.
And if you want God's best for you...
That means listening to God's Word, will and way.
God will not tell you to marry an unbeliever. I have said many times before that there are several instances in Scripture where folks were "unequally yoked". Moses and Zipporah. Boaz and Ruth. King Xerses and Esther, etc. One, we have to always keep in mind that just because things are in the Bible, that doesn't automatically make it right or God's will. Secondly, in most instances, the man was in relationship with God and the Word tells us that a wife is to submit to her husband (Colossians 3:18). Zipporah had she and Moses's son circumcised so that he could be in covenant (submission). Ruth became a Hebrew follower (submission). Esther? The only book of the Bible that doesn't mention God once (interesting, right?). Extreme sacrifices were made on her part to save her people. The point? One, God never put it in his Word (which means it's not in his will) for a man to submit to a woman. I Peter 3:1-6 says that a woman can influence a man by his conduct, but that's a lot easier to do when he already has some sort of foundational relationship with the Lord. It really is best to do what God says and he says to not unequally yoke oneself with an unbeliever. The Word compares it to Christ not being in association with Belial or light not being in association with darkness (2 Corinthians 6:11-18). *That's how extreme God sees it to be*. A man is to be a spiritual leader for you. To cover you in the Word. To love you as Christ loves the Church. An unbeliever can't even fathom what all of that means. Bottom line? Don't do marry one.
God will not tell you to marry someone else's husband. The Word says that divorced people are to remain unmarried or to reconcile with the person that they divorced (I Corinthians 7:10-11). Just because people don't do it doesn't mean God has relaxed his command. The road is narrow and difficult. Few will find the true way to life. The Bible tells us so (Matthew 7:13-14). Read this, this and this if you're dating a divorced person right now. "Do not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14) does not mean "Do not commit sexual infidelity". It goes *so much deeper* than that.
God will not tell you to marry someone who is sexually violating you. Fornication is a form of sexual violation. I am floored by how many people act like sex outside of marriage is "no big deal" or a "passable sin". If you read I Corinthians 6:9-10, it says that those who do it will not inherit the kingdom of God and if you read Revelation 21:8, it lists sexually immoral people as some of the ones who will be a part of the second fire. Does God forgive sin? OF COURSE. Truly repentant sin (2 Corinthians 7:9-10) and the people who fall into that category are people who "go and sin no more" once they realize the magnitude of what they've done (John 8:11). Besides that, of the married couples who've engaged in sexual sin (you don't "make love" dating. There's no love in it because God is love and he's not a part of sexual sin--Hebrews 13:4) that I've talked to, *ALL OF THEM REGRET DOING IT*. It tends to affect trust and it's hard for many wives to believe a man will cover her in marriage when he *uncovered her* while dating. Sexual sin is making a mockery of such a beautiful thing that God has created. No, God is not going to tell you to marry someone who is helping you to make a mockery out of something he created. And if it is meant to be by God, there will be repentance *and* a season of abstinence on the front end of marriage.
God will not tell you to marry someone who has no relationship with God and no sense of purpose. This one? Short and sweet. The Garden of Eden is God's blueprint for mankind (Genesis 1-2). We should be doing all that we can to live that way. And in the Garden, Adam had a relationship with God and a purpose *before* the woman. Missionary dating is unhealthy. So is trying to rush a man into a relationship when he's not sure what he's on this planet to do. Plus, a wife is to *complement* (Genesis 2:18-25--AMPC) her husband. You can't really know how you fit if "he's" not clear on where you do.
God will not tell you to marry someone who doesn't encourage you to put God first. ALWAYS. Some women who write me? The guy they're all into doesn't pray for them, let alone with them. Again, reference to Ephesians 5 to see WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS a husband is to do in his wife's life. If you're considering a man who shows no evidence of making your stronger in God, bringing you closer to Christ and encourages you to honor the Holy Spirit, he's not God's best for you. Not by a long shot! Remember that marriage is to model the covenant of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. They agree as one (I John 5:8). Just as a husband and wife get married and then beginning the becoming one process (Genesis 2:24-25). The only way to know how to do that is by the leading of the Godhead.
I am trusting that this already provides some of you with the answers you've been looking for, even if they are uncomfortable ones. *Better to be uncomfortable alone than in a counterproductive relationship with someone else*. Right?
And what should you do while you're waiting on more answers?
Funny you should ask that.
I also checked out an article that I like that consists of how to cultivate a life plan. Don't let your world only consist of looking for/waiting on a husband. The more planning you do, the more God assists you in those plans (Proverbs 3:5-6), the more things will be made clear about why you are single in this season and what God desires for you. In his time. *Everything is made beautiful in its time* (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Well, that's what I got this week...
As always, if there are prayer requests, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You deserve more than "just some dude".
God knows that. He's got your best interest in mind.
Satan knows that. He's going to do his best to distract you.
The key to receiving God's will is YOU KNOWING THAT.
I pray that you do!