Sunday, August 21, 2016
"On Fire": Woman First. Wife Second.
Last week I read an article with this title: "One Peculiar Reason Modern Men Avoid Marriage and How to Address It". Before getting into the reason that was actually shared, I'll provide my own theory. FAR TOO MANY WOMEN ARE OFFERING A BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE WITHOUT REQUIRING A MAN TO MARRY THEM: *SEX*.
Amazing, ain't it, that the same men who say they aren't ready/don't want to get married are (oftentimes) the same ones doing what God *only* created for marriage (Hebrews 13:4)? I've been there and done that, *trust me*. From the past 14 men I've fornicated with, I'll say this: "You're not doing a man or yourself ANY FAVORS by having sex with him outside of marriage." You're not "loving him"; you're actually *spiritually and emotionally emasculating him* because he's receiving something he has not earned (or received God's permission to have). Sex, outside of marriage, doesn't make ANYONE stronger in the Lord; only weaker. And sometimes, grave consequences follow:
"Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, 'The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.' Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come.
Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."---I Corinthians 10:6-13(NKJV)
Sexual sin being popular and common makes it no more right.
*It will always be wrong* (I Corinthians 6:16-20---Message).
I've shared several before a video that depicts why (click here).
Besides, you're worth so much more than that.
Your a child of the Most High (Psalm 82:6).
Your own standards should reflect that.
Your mind, body and spirit *deserve* marriage.
Back to the article, though...
So, the author referenced another article with this title: "Young men giving up on marriage: ‘Women aren’t women anymore'". (Ouch and amen!) Here's an excerpt:
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center...
“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”
“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”
“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”
Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.
“It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek."
It's funny (not really) how some of the people I already shared this with acted like it was *the men's fault* that this is there reality. Here's my take. I'm a woman. A woman who desires to be married one day. And you know what? I wasn't offended by the article one bit.
Personally, on many levels and for many reasons, I agree with it. Even as a woman, I'm amazed by how many women I see who *look* like women, but man...Proverbs 31? The Word wasn't playing when it said that she's hard to find and is of high value. So many women act like there's something wrong with being domesticated, staying at home to raise their own children, cooking and cleaning (?!) and not having the desire to compete in "a man's world".
A woman is created by God to prove that she can be better than a man.
A woman is created by God to complement a man.
So, if you check out the article and it get under your skin, ask yourself why...
If anything, what it did for me, was remind myself...
How important it is to be a WOMAN first and a WIFE second.
The Word tells us what a woman looks and lives like:
"A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it]. She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household’s food from a far [country]. She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks. She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]. She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet. She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made]. Her husband is known in the [city’s] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service]. Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat. Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], 'Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.' Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!"---Proverbs 31:10-30(AMPC)
"In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, when they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; but let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them]. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]."---I Peter 3:1-6(AMPC)
A lot of us aren't waiting on our man...
God is waiting on us to become the kind of woman he can entrust one of his sons too.
Marriage is one of God's greatest gifts...
Made ONLY for a man and a woman.
Before trying to be someone's wife...
Let's seek the Father on how to be---and remain---a godly woman first!