Thursday, September 29, 2016

"On Fire": (VIDEOS) Do the Two of You Have the Same Values?

Quite Women Co.:

"But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person."---I Corinthians 5:11(NKJV)


Yesterday...

While talking to a wife who's been married for about as long as I've been abstinent, she asked me what I thought about boyfriends and girlfriends. I told her what I've been saying more and more: "I dislike that about as much as fornication." Her response? "Girl, me too!"

No one was boyfriend and girlfriend in the Bible.
No one was called to give marriage a "practice" or "test run".

Acting married when you not leads to a huge chance of breaking up.
And that makes you more and more numb when it comes to divorce being an option in marriage.

You know what else?

In the Bible, no woman was expected to submit to a man *until after* he became her husband.
SUBMISSION IS A GIFT (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22).
One that is given to a man, once he takes a woman on as his wife.
NOT BEFORE.

So no, I'm not looking for some man to "take the lead" in a relationship prior to marriage.

Sound counter-cultural? Even for the Church? I bet it does (LOL). Here's where I'm going with it, though. I penned a devo last Sabbath that spoke a lot about Boaz and Ruth (if you want to check it out, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com and I'll shoot it over to you). RUTH WAS THE INITIATOR. Gender roles in intimate relationships are laid out for individuals who are *husband and wife*; not man and woman or boyfriend and girlfriend.

While I'm single, it's up to me to be led by God and to discern (Proverbs 2) how a man is *leading his own life*, not mine. As a close male friend of mine recently said "It's not about who is pursuing or not. It's about being obedient. You can never go wrong if you're doing that." He's so right.

More and more, I'm coming to the peaceful and resolved place that acting super committed in a dating situation is NOT God's will for two people who are considering marriage. Becoming the best of friends (Ephesians 4:9-12) is. That's how you get to really know someone---without the pressure; unrealistic expectations; using words that, quite frankly, don't even apply to you (like monogamous and cheating); violating one another sexually (if you're not married to someone, sexual activity is a VIOLATION--Hebrews 13:4, I Corinthians 6:9-10 & 16-20--Message); not properly guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23); making compromises that compromise you (i.e., not taking certain jobs or leaving a city for the sake of a relationship, etc.)...basically not enjoying what the season of singleness is supposed to be about: focusing on YOU and your growth and development.

Too many people get married as a broken person...
Because they did not use the season of singleness to become whole (James 1:4).

Satan likes it that way...
Because when you're not whole as a single individual...
And then you "play married"...
You overlook things that you shouldn't...
All the while calling it "loyalty to the relationship"...
When really you're allowing that person to be a stumbling block in your life (Romans 14:13).


Ladies, a man without God is a man you can live without.:

That's why I appreciated a video that I "came cross" (Proverbs 16:33-AMPC) on yesterday. I really dug the title: "BOTH CHRISTIANS BUT UNEQUALLY YOKED". She provides some real gems. Please make the time to check her out:





Did you peep the lead Scripture for this? Interesting how much that "conveniently" goes overlooked, isn't it? When someone claims to be a believer, there is a standard that comes with that. Yes, none of us are perfect, but that doesn't give us the reason or right to live in conscious and habitual sin. According to the Word, when there are people in our lives who say they are a Christian, are habitually doing things the Bible says not to do, and they don't show fruit of wanting to change (Matthew 12:33), *we are not even supposed to be eating with them*, let alone *dating/courting* them.

That's what's so cool about Ms. Madyara's video. She's encouraging us to use our time to be honest about if we're equally yoked/truly compatible with someone, whether they claim to be a Christian or not. Another way to look at that is "Do we share the same values? Even as we're growing closer as friends? Will we help one another to become more like Christ or less like him?"

When you're so busy being someone's girlfriend...
Which is more like a slick wife...
You will take the relationship on like it's "You can me against the world"...
Instead of "Are you the one God has brought me to?"

So, take a moment and think...
As a Christian, WHAT ARE YOUR PERSONAL VALUES?

As far as Christianity as a whole, I really like a list that one author provided:

RECOGNIZE THE DESPERATE NEED FOR TRUTH
RECOGNIZE THE DESPERATE NEED FOR LOVE
RECOGNIZE THE DESPERATE NEED FOR DISCIPLESHIP
RECOGNIZE THE DESPERATE NEED FOR HOLINESS
RECOGNIZE THE DESPERATE NEED FOR PRAYER
RECOGNIZE THE DESPERATE NEED FOR POWER
RECOGNIZE THE DESPERATE NEED FOR CHRIST


Marriage is not for the world...
Marriage is for two people who serve the Lord...
Because the standards for marriage are *biblically based*.

In order to have a marriage that is equally yoked...
You need to have a friendship where two people share the same core biblical values.

While you're single and spending time with others...
THIS SHOULD BE YOUR MAIN FOCUS.

If it's not...
Something is...off...
WAY OFF.

Godly Relationships | Musings of Hope:

Value yourself, your heart, our body and your time enough to set values and uphold them...
Focus on if your FRIENDSHIP is compatible...
That's whats singles are *supposed* to be doing.

It makes for a MUCH HEALTHIER present as a single person...
And future, once GOD DECIDES it's time for you to be married.

Be Holy

"O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.

As God has said: 'I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people.' Therefore 'Come out from among them and be separate,' says the Lord. 'Do not touch what is unclean and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters,' says the Lord Almighty.”---2 Corinthians 6:11-18(NKJV)

By the way, Ms. Madyara has a YouTube channel. Another one that caught my eye is "OBSESSING OVER MARRIAGE BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED" (eh hem):




Proverbs 12:4,

SRW

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