Wednesday, November 2, 2016
An Ounce of Prevention: (SAY THAT!!!) 'Reject the Dangerous Notion That Men Are Hunters and Women Are Their Prey'
"Now the Lord God said, 'It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.' And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name. And Adam gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the air and to every [wild] beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh. And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. Then Adam said, 'This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.' Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence."---Genesis 2:18-25(AMPC)
I'm SO GLAD that I read this article below...
If you've been reading these for a while, you know that I have been *so over* men needing to be pursuers for a long time now. There are biblical examples of God-involved unions where the woman was actually the initiator (Ruth, Esther, for example) and even in God's blueprint for mankind, Adam did not pursue the Woman. AT ALL.
God decided Adam needed a woman.
God put Adam to sleep while he made his woman.
God awakened Adam and brought his Woman to him.
There's no telling how many people would avoid divorce court if they totally let God do the matchmaking instead of themselves...
Yet this article brings up another great point. It mentions that Adam was a *gardener* not a *hunter*. A garden is "a fertile and delightful spot or region" and isn't it fascinating that God first cultivated a relationship with Adam, gave him the position of caring for a fertile and delightful spot *and then* brought him a wife? Another *fertile and delightful spot*!
It reminds me a lot of the revelation I got about manna...
"And the house of Israel called its name Manna. And it was like white coriander seed, and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey."---Exodus 16:31(NKJV)
This was the diet that *God provided* for the Israelites prior to the Promised Land. Remember when they were slaves and they ate meat? Check it:
"And the children of Israel said to them, 'Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.'"---Exodus 16:3(NKJV)
Yeah, at another time, we'll have to get into how when it's time for us to prepare for what lies ahead, there are some people, places, things and ideas we *must* leave behind. No matter how much you might miss certain things, they're not good for you; they're counterproductive to God's plans for your future.
Anyway, so manna tasted like honey and the Promised Land was this:
"So I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to a good and large land, to a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites and the Hittites and the Amorites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites."---Exodus 3:8(NKJV)
In order for a husband to "cherish and nourish" his wife (Ephesians 5:22-33), doesn't it make sense that he should have a "gardener mentality" rather than a *hunter one*:
Hunt: to chase or search for (game or other wild animals) for the purpose of catching or killing; to pursue with force, hostility, etc., in order to capture (often followed by down); to search for; seek; endeavor to obtain or find (often followed by up or out)
Who wants to be treated like that?!
A part of the reason why I like "You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men" (I Corinthians 7:23--NKJV) is because it's a reminder that there are certain things that men are NOT deserving of UNTIL God blesses them with a man.
And a man and woman who let God lead?
NO HUNTING IS NECESSARY.
Now to the article...
I am so tired of people pushing the whole “men are hunters” crap when it comes to relationships. It’s just not true. Even worse, this widely promoted belief is unhealthy for both men and women.
For my more religious brothers and sisters, please allow me to point out that Adam’s original job assignment was gardener, not hunter. He was assigned stewardship of the garden (not the hunting grounds) of Eden. So the idea that men do not have the capacity to nurture, and that creating and maintaining a caring, peaceful and healthy environment for others is the exclusive domain of women, is nonsense. Beyond that, to the degree that Eve is believed to be the original ancestor and prototype of all women, she was created to be a companion for Adam. Unlike the animals that populated the garden perhaps, she was not created to be hunted and captured by him. Eve was a gift from God, not a conquest of Adam.
On the other hand, being a hunter is practically synonymous with being a predator. This sets up a sinister premise: If the natural disposition of males is to be predators, that means that the natural role of females is to be prey. When predators (including sexual, emotional and financial predators) capture their prey, they are only focused on one thing: sating their appetite. Believe me, that does not mean treating the hunted with tender loving care and seeing to their health and well-being. It means devouring the prey, and once satisfied, abandoning the remains. Neither the desires nor the consent of the prey are priorities.
This is the underlying premise of sexual assault, intimate partner violence, infidelity, reckless promiscuity and other unhealthy, destructive and even deadly choices and behaviors. By rule, hunters may use any means at their disposal, ranging from deceit and subterfuge to traps and violence, to capture their prey. This is the kind of thinking that makes penis-led adult males (the polar opposite of Grown men as described in Loving In The Grown Zone, my book with co-author Zara Green) an ever-present danger to themselves and others.
The hunter/prey gender-role model is a dangerously unhealthy one for relationships. Moreover, it is a horrible way to frame how intimate relationships should be pursued and established, especially for young men and women (and yes, boys and girls) who are extremely vulnerable to images, messages and gender models of intimate romantic and sexual behavior. It reinforces and affirms that it is natural for men to view and treat women as conquests, trophies, objects to be toyed with until soiled and broken, and then discarded—and to measure their manhood accordingly.
Amen. And amen! Awesome soul food for thought...