Tuesday, April 26, 2016

"On Fire": Before You Even Start a Relationship...

Feeling more connected to Christ than ever before…God is good. :)  #trueidentity #truelove:

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."---Philippians 4:8(NLT)


2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us that ALL SCRIPTURE serves a divine purpose. This means that none of the Word is designed to contradict itself. So, when we read verses in Scripture like Philippians 4, guess what? *Relationships are not exempt*.

And since we're to think about what is true...
And honorable...
And right...
And pure...
And lovely...
And admirable...

Does it not make sense that we're to build our relationships on those verse same things?

That said...

Yesterday, a relatively new artist Yuna released a video. I instantly fell in deep like (I'm learning to honor the word "love" more and better--LOL). It's sweet. It's innocent. It's non-violating. It's the way the beginning stages of a crush/relationship should be.

Whew! I am *so thankful* for this kind of song *and* video. For a lot of reasons (big ups to the pretty lil' girl with the 'fro!). One includes Usher being married and not being all over Yuna and also her being *fully clothed* and still fly. She's actually been in the press a bit about refusing to take her clothes off. GOOD. FOR. HER:

"In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy.

And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do."---I Timothy 2:8-10(NLT)

Again, nothing in the Word contradicts itself...
Nor does God's character change (Malachi 3:6).

Modest: having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one's merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions; free from ostentation or showy extravagance; having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; decent

You can be *stylish* and *distinctive* and *unique* and still be MODEST.

And honestly, modesty should be about more than how you look...
There should be a *modest approach* to dating too.

In walks two articles...
I'm going to just share some excerpts, but please read them both fully when you get the chance...
Pass them along to some of your single friends too.

"7 Ways to Tell if You Are in a God-Ordained Relationship" (excerpts):

You Are Equally Yoked-Christians

The operative word here is Equally yoked. By this I mean you are both Christians for starters and are both in a similar place in your walk with Jesus. If one of you walks closely with Him and the other barely knows Him, you are not Equally Yoked. You must have a strong Spiritual connection with one another. You must view and worship God in a similar fashion. You can talk openly about God and can spur each other on in your faith and walk with Christ. You should be able to pray together as a couple and pray for one another when you are apart. This prayer should come naturally and without hesitation. I cannot emphasize enough how critical this point is. It’s not enough that both of you believe in Jesus Christ. If you are not equally yoked spiritually, your relationship will unravel quickly...

If you are not Equally Yoked because one of you is not a Christian, your relationship is not ordained by God, because this is blatant disobedience to God’s Word. If you are not equally yoked because you don’t connect spiritually or one of you is more grown than the other, particularly the woman, you should prayerfully consider taking a break and seeing if time apart will bring the other person to a closer and deeper relationship with God. If not, then it is not a match. MOVE ON…  Regeneration and transformation is evidence of a Spirit led life yielded to Him. 

You Are Both Marriage-Minded

You both share similar goals about marriage; you are both ready for it. The time frame should be within one to two years at the most. If neither of you are ready for marriage, why are you dating? Recreational Dating is not advisable for Born Again Bible Believing Christians; it only leads to sin, which dishonors God, then God doesn’t bless the union. This ends up causing long term issues in the marriage by blurring the lines between lust and love.

Once lust and the physical aspect has already been introduced in the relationship, the waters are muddied and both parties cannot see or think clearly. This is also a warning sign that the relationship is not God ordained.

You Have Complete Peace

When your relationship is God ordained, it will be simple, uncomplicated, and should run smoothly. It won’t be perfect, but will seem effortless. Your schedules don’t collide. You both have time to go to church, serve God, and enjoy time together. Your lives converge easily without too much effort. Both your friends and families approve. There is no drama, fighting, or constant bickering. Peace will permeate your spirit when God ordains your relationship. When you think about that person, you smile and thank God for bringing you a perfect and wonderful gift. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father…”  (James 1:17)

You Enjoy Being with That Person 

Take away the iPhone, Facebook, Cable TV, games, and all media. If you were stranded on a deserted island with this person with only a bible, would you have the adventure of a lifetime or does getting a root canal seem more appealing? This is the true test of compatibility. When you can sit with this person without distractions and physical intimacy and can laugh, communicate, connect, and enjoy yourself, you are on the right track, because you have the foundation of a Godly Friendship in place.

The thought of this person gets you excited spiritually and emotionally. Out of all the people you know, this person is the first person you want to share your victories and trials with. Their presence and their input is what you look forward to at the end of your day. You see Jesus in their countenance and demeanor. 

Communication, Communication, Communication!

When it comes to Real Estate it’s Location, Location, Location!  But in a relationship, it’s Communication to the third power! You must be able to speak freely both ways. The best communicators are active listeners. They are also great at articulating their thoughts and feelings through speaking and writing. It’s best to find someone who can communicate at your level and listens intently to your every word. After all, we have two ears and one mouth. The bible tells us it’s better to listen before speaking. 

Majority Approves

Most if not all your friends and family must approve of your mate. These are people who know you, love you, and want what’s best for you. Sometimes we can get emotionally and physically caught up in someone and not see the “Big Picture.” This is where our friends and family come in. Their opinions and insights count. Obviously, be cautious of those who are not basing their opinions on Biblical virtues. But otherwise, trust them! If a majority of them disapprove of your choice, God is trying to tell you something. Don’t ignore their opinions. They are God’s messengers for your protection. Your relationship will not thrive in a bubble or a vacuum. God did not intend that for any marriage. If anything, your relationship is meant to be an illustration to the world of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love.

God Gives You a Supernatural Love for This Person

When God ordains a relationship, He gives you Supernatural examples to confirm His approval of your union. It won’t take years or months. Sometimes it’s a matter of hours or weeks to know you are in the presence of “The One.” Now granted, if you met in high school, then it will take years, but when you are at an appropriate age, it doesn’t take long to figure it out if God is in the center of your relationship. A man will be overcome with the desire to see the woman more often, while the woman won’t have time to fret over his intentions or feelings. 

Ladies, if you are sitting around fretting over some guy who isn’t calling you or wanting to spend more time with you, give it to God. You could be wasting your precious time and energy on the wrong guy. Instead of being fixated on Mr. Wrong, focus on what you should be doing, which is serving God. 


Purity, Christian dating, godly relationship, Christ centered, pure love:

Next up: "9 Signs You Should Break Up" (just the bullet points this time):

When wise people around you are raising concerns about the relationship.
When they are not a follower of Christ.
When you are not moving towards marriage.
When you are not on the same page about sexual purity.
When you are living together.
When one or both of you need time to heal.
When you are not growing in affection towards each other.
When they push you away from Christ rather than towards Him.
Before you get married.


Yuna's video, in many ways, is a visual metaphor...
If you're with someone, can people describe the two of you as sweet...innocent...non-violating?

So many people don't guard their heart (Proverbs 4:23) before even beginning a relationship...
Prayerfully this will remind us all how important it is to do so.

Marriage is designed to reflect divine covenant (I John 5:8, Genesis 2:24-25).

If "he's" not making you grow in God BY YOUR FRUIT (Matthew 12:33)...
And you're not doing the same for him...

If you can't see indications of both, even from the first date...

Proverbs 12:4,


Tuesday, April 19, 2016

"On Fire": NEWSFLASH: Men Deserve a Woman Who Has a 'QUIET AND GENTLE SPIRIT'

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:  1 Peter 3:4-5:

As my goddaughter's mother says "Hit dog will holler" (LOL)...

I was in the midst of doing some work for a friend and checked out a string of comments that women were posting on social media in response (more like reaction) to something R&B singer Tyrese said, apparently on his Instagram recently:

All white fleet with beige guts............. I was just asked today what qualities attract me at this point in a women.... I love a woman that's smart, confident, educated, self sufficient, (( available to be as spontaneous as this lifestyle I live.) I use to be attracted to women with HUGE personalities LOUD and AGGRESSIVE and I would always (h)it a wall.... Now I'm in a zone where I am ONLY attracted to women who's voice is so soft and she has the energy and presence of grace and regal sophistication..... Not subservient REGAL!!! As sexy as my small collection is I never leave home I'm too grown for clubs and turn up every night..... Although I make moves sometimes.... I'm on my #GrownManS--t heavy....... I can't wait to get home........ I don't remember the last time I lost sleep over a hater..... This is a life and lifestyle that I've earned... I use to feel bad about being so blessed and allowed people to play me, use me, take advantage of me... Play on my emotions to get s--t out of me cause I had more..... That ATM is shut all the way down...... I'm 3,500 flights, a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of stages and political warfare into this life and lifestyle if you want it get off your ass and GO GET IT!!!!!!! Message to my future wife...... Hello! 

Two points first...

I believe Tyrese is divorced and I also believe he professes to be a believer so someone might want to hip him to I Corinthians 7:10-11, Matthew 19:1-12 and also one of my favorite articles on marriage: "The Role of Marriage in the Kingdom of God". Secondly, back in my entertainment writing days, I interviewed Tyrese for Upscale before. He seems to still be as much of a trip as he was then (LOL).


It was a lot of the women's responses to what he said that had me at "pause":

He'll die a bachelor
Y'all don't mind us when we are in #thesestreets aggressively fighting for you though
Who does he think buys tickets to his shows and music?
And we refuse to marry his dumb a--. Convo done.
Who is begging him to? Did you see him on the OWN show with Rev. Run? He's a ho, player and commitmentphobe!

Oh, and here comes the voice of reason. From a guy:

Black women are gonna get up in arms about this and expose themselves instead of falling back and chilling

Amen. And indeed!

For the record, I know some loud and aggressive (and super-nagging--Proverbs 21:9--AMPC) women of all colors. Race is not the issue here. The point is that Tyrese makes a good point. Whether he realized it, meant to or not, the part of his statement (or was it a rant?) that's in bold is Scriptural.

"In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, when they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].

Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; but let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.

For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them].

It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]."---I Peter 3:1-6(AMPC)

I just picked up a new married couple to work with on yesterday (Proverbs 24:6). When I asked the husband what he felt was one of the biggest problems in his marriage he said "I don't get to lead." When I asked the wife, she said "He doesn't move when I need him to so I do it myself."

OK, this is an awesome example of what it means to have a "quiet and gentle spirit"...
(That's how the New King James Version translates it)

"God doesn't want me to be a 'fix him' wife. God wants me to be a 'love him' wife." - Lysa TerKeurst || click here to read the rest of today's P31 radio show ---> http://proverbs31.org/?p=3864:

First of all, it's *disobedient* to be a wife who doesn't submit, who doesn't let her wife lead: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." (Colossians 3:18) So off top---and from personal experience in other ways---I'll tell you one way a woman has a "loud and aggressive spirit": IT'S WHEN SHE'S BIBLICALLY DISOBEDIENT.

One of my absolute favorite Scriptures in the Word is Proverbs 17:27(NKJV):"He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit." A woman who spends time in the Word, learning about how God designed her to be, has a better understanding about femininity (whew! There is currently *such an attack* on femininity!). And when she grasps who and how God called and created her to be, she can have a calm spirit.

I Corinthians 2:14(NKJV) tells us "But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." *The world is worldly*. They are too caught up in their flesh and pride to care much about what God has to say. This includes when it comes to sexuality and gender. Yet as believers (and especially if you profess to be a disciple!--John 8:31-32, Matthew 16:24), we're to submit to the Word and its standards and expectations. As women, this includes having a spirit---a soul---that is quiet (peaceful, tranquil and rest-filled) and gentle (kind, mild and honorable).


To be upset that a man wants something that's biblical is to be in denial with what God set into motion. Take that up with the Father, not the guys who are reminding us of what the Word says (again, whether they realize it or not).

As for me and my house (LOL)...

Thanks Tyrese for the reminder! #noted


Sunday, April 17, 2016

"On Fire": What a Man Who's THE TRUTH Looks/Lives/Loves Like

A great relationship happens when two people who truly understand each other and love each other for who they are come together and create something stronger than either of them could be on their own. #relationships #love #quotes:

Some of you probably know...

That soul artist India.Arie penned the foreward for my first book Inside of Me. It came about because I was one of the first official interviews she had before her first CD dropped (had a demo copy and everything!). We connected and stayed in touch for a while because of that.

Years later, one of her producers became a close friend of the family. Life is a trip.

Anyway, one of my favorite songs of hers is "The Truth".

If you're not familiar, here is the chorus and outro:

Cause he is the truth
Said he is so real
And I love the way that he makes me feel
And if I am a reflection of him
Then I must be fly
Cause his light, it shines so bright
I wouldn't lie, no

There ain't no substitute for the truth
Either it is or it isn't
'Cause he is the truth
You see the truth it needs no proof
Either it is or it isn't
'Cause he is the truth
And you know the truth by the way it feels

This song was on repeat a lot throughout the weekend...

I was listening to it through a spiritual perspective (I Corinthians 2:14)...


Truth: the true or actual state of a matter; conformity with fact or reality; verity; the state or character of being true; actuality or actual existence; honesty; integrity; truthfulness

It's pretty deep if you can say your man is *the truth*...
From a spiritual angle...

That he is true.
That he conforms to biblical facts.
That his character is true (Colossians 3:12-17).
That he---and the relationship---actually exists.
That he is full of honesty and integrity.

Since the Word tells us to NOT yoke ourselves to non-believers (2 Corinthians 6:11-18), that if we claim to be believers ourselves, we're not even supposed to eat with fornicators (I know, right?--I Corinthians 5:11, Ephesians 5:5), then off top, a man who does not live by biblical truth cannot qualify as being "the truth".

So, what does a man who is "The Truth" look like?
It's a book! For now, here are seven things to keep in mind, though.

He's a Disciple
"Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, 'If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'"---John 8:31-32(NKJV)

He's a man who abides by ALL of the Word because all of the Word is relevant and necessary. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us so. And since he's a Word-abider, that means he takes Matthew 16:24(NKJV) very seriously: "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.'" You can't be a disciple and be selfish (Philippians 2:3). You can't be a disciple and not be willing to "suffer for the right" (I Peter 3:14). You know what else? This means you should be able to see fruit (Matthew 12:33) of him being a disciple because Christ once instructed his disciples to do the following things: "Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." (Matthew 10:8--NKJV) You should see *evidence* of him making people's lives better...not worse, you included. A disciple loves and love does no harm---physically, emotionally, spiritually, sexually or morally---to its neighbor (Romans 13:8-10), after all.

He's Knowledgeable
"I will present profound arguments for the righteousness of my Creator. I am telling you nothing but the truth, for I am a man of great knowledge."---Job 36:3-4(NLT)

Proverbs 9:10(NKJV) says "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." He's a man who isn't just well-read but spends time seeking the Father's will (Matthew 7:7-8) and studying to show himself approved because the Word tells us to do that (2 Timothy 2:15--AMPC). If you're with a man you have to ask to pray, drag to worship and beg to mature spiritually (Hebrews 5:12-14)...something is very *very* wrong. If he's not spiritually intentional now, he's *the last man* you need to submit to later (Colossians 3:18).

He Has a Good Reputation
"Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts."---Psalm 15:2(NLT)

Now I'll put a disclaimer up. A man (or woman) who is righteous is going to be despised by the world and worldly people (John 15:18&19, 17:6-19). Meaning, you have to consider the source of the hate. I'm never comfortable or convinced by people who claim---or worse believe---that everyone likes them. If that's the case, either they are very disingenuous or not as strong in the Word as they need to be. The world likes their own, not those who stand for the right. So, this doesn't mean that he's never talked about or that the truth he speaks may not offend from time to time (Hebrews 3:13). What it does mean, however, is that he seeks to live the kind of life where he's not fodder for gossip, that he tries to do the right thing rather than the popular one (Luke 6:26--Message) and he speaks "truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15), as much as possible.

He's Not a Commitment-Phobe
"Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne. Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants."---Psalm 89:14(NLT)

When I pen devos for Marital Covenant Thursdays, one of the things I oftentimes say is divorced people (Malachi 2:16) should repent to God and their ex for saying "I love you" but it not being the truth. I Corinthians 13:8 tells us that "Love does not fail." This means that when we tell someone "I love you", a part of what we're essentially saying is "I'm not going to fail you. Even if you fail me." That's how God loves us: "The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: 'Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.'" (Jeremiah 31:3--NKJV) and "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" (Hebrews 13:5--NKJV) A man who's the truth is ever-striving to not fail in love or in truth. He's committed to both. No expiration date.

He's a Truth Speaker
"But this is what you must do: Tell the truth to each other. Render verdicts in your courts that are just and that lead to peace. Don’t scheme against each other. Stop your love of telling lies that you swear are the truth. I hate all these things, says the Lord."---Zechariah 8:16-17(NLT)

We already touched on this a bit, but it's worth going in a big deeper. A truth speaker isn't only "not a liar". A truth speaker is not going to compromise biblical truth *no matter what*! He's going to tell the truth, he's not going to compromise the truth and he's also (catch it) not going to be pressured to say something that is not true. I know far too many women who try and manipulate or force or seduce a man into getting her own way (that's a spirit of witchcraft, by the way). A man who's a truth speaker is going to GOD FIRST (James 1:5) about 1) if you are the right woman for him; 2) if it's time to tell you so and 3) when it's time to move forward. He doesn't create or succumb to schemes. (And good for him for that!)

He Is Not Moved by Cultural Shifts in the Church
 "I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved."---Matthew 5:18(NLT)

Have heaven and earth passed away yet? OK, so the law is still relevant then! No time to get into how poorly this has been taught in so many churches. Just remember that a man who is the truth knows that Christ said this: "If you love Me, keep My commandments...He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him." (John 14:15&21--NKJV) So what that the global Church is allowing the world to influence (or is it bully?) it to the point that it's chipping away more and more of the Word to suit man? A man who's the truth also knows that the praises of God mean more than the praises of man (John 12:43).

He's LIGHT in the World
"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."---Matthew 5:13-14(NKJV)

The Hebrew word for light is "or". It also means "to shine". A man who is the truth is a shining light because God's Word is "a lamp and a light" (Psalm 119:105) and because his *good deeds* are evident to those around him (including you). He knows that the Word states that it's not enough to offer lip service; he must *take action* (I John 3:18). And he doesn't do it for credit or bragging rights on social media either. He's aware that charitable deeds are best done in secret (Matthew 6:1).

He Doesn't Settle for a Woman Who Is Also Not "The Truth"
"Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed?"---Amos 3:3(AMPC)

As I'm learning some things via the love journey I'm on, I'll tell you what I discern (Proverbs 2) is one of the most arrogant things a woman can say: "I'm waiting on 'him' to get ready." Honey, ain't no woman waiting on a man to get himself together! For one thing, the Word tells us to *wait on the Lord*; to put our hope in him (Psalm 39:7). Secondly, to say that you're waiting on someone else basically implies you're good and you don't have stuff you could stand to improve on as well. Any woman who is disillusioned enough to believe that is going to be a real handful as a wife someday! As you're looking for/waiting on a man who is truly "the truth", make sure that you're using the time in your singleness to become *the truth*! As the lead quote says, a healthy couple makes one another stronger---not weaker---than they were on their own.

If you're currently in a relationship and you can't say that about "him"...well...
I think you can finish the sentence.

Walk and love IN TRUTH.

Proverbs 12:4,


Wednesday, April 13, 2016

An Ounce of Prevention: (VIDEO) 'Living Out God's Design for Marriage'

Very married.:

You know what I really like about this quote?

It translates as "Unless I can be married to the right person, the right way, for the rest of my life, I need to be single." I wholeheartedly agree! And that's what this blog strives to do. Offer up insight about what marital covenant is *and* what it requires.

So, I wanted to share a video on marriage from a couple that I really appreciate. Pay attention to how the wife speaks of what it was like to learn how to be a *true helper* (Genesis 2:18). I really liked it went she said "God gave me the courage to love him well."

Definitely some great food for thought...and a true ounce of prevention!

Proverbs 12:4,


An Ounce of Prevention: (VIDEO) A Guy Talks About Regretting Losing His Virginity

Allow yourself to be a beginner No one starts off being excellent | Inspirational Quotes:

"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."---I Corinthians 6:18-20(NKJV)



A few days ago, I saw a title of an article that caught my attention: "Please God, Don't Let Me Die a Virgin". I'll be 42 in a couple of months and haven't had sex over nine years, so I get it. It's not the purity that's the problem (God requires that--Hebrews 13:4). It's the thought of never being able to have sex again that can be a bit of a struggle (to say the least!). Anyway, here's an excerpt:

I’ll be 29 this year, and I can count on one hand the amount of dates I’ve been on in my life. I’ve never been on a date with a man where I’ve enjoyed myself and wanted to continue the relationship. They’ve all been awkward, and then I had to do the whole “I don’t really like you that way. Let’s pretend like we’re going to stay friends, but I’m actually going to avoid you like the plague from here on out because I feel guilty for possibly hurting your feelings” thing.

Let me share with you a list of some situations I’d rather not go through again:

    Being told by a guy I like he’s not that interested in me
    Telling a guy I’m not that interested in him
    Kidney stones

So after one painfully awkward date, I told God I would prefer not to be asked out at all than to be asked out by a man whom I’d have to reject.

God is faithful, and I have not been asked out since August 2012.

I’m telling you this because I need you to know I’m not some super holy person who has resisted so much temptation in an effort to stay faithful to my future husband; I’ve had no opportunity to be unfaithful. (At least not physically… emotionally unfaithful? Well that’s a story for another day.)

I’m just a girl who somedays feels like the biggest loser in the world and who sometimes believes no man will ever find her beautiful or love her. A girl who struggles with loneliness and feeling unwanted.

But those are my feelings; they are not my reality.

My reality is a Father who has beautifully protected me from the pain and destruction of sexual sin thus far in my life, but whose affection is not contingent upon my perfection. I am loved.

My reality is a Savior who loved me at my worst and who continues to recklessly pursue my heart. I am wanted.

My reality is a Great Comforter who guides and guards me as I navigate the trials and joys of this world. I am never alone.

Feelings often take awhile to catch up to God’s truth. They also forget easily. I have to remind my heart daily of the truth, so my feelings can be rooted in God’s Word and not fear.

My fear of being single forever and dying a virgin finds its root in the fear of being an outsider and misunderstood and ridiculed. Ironically enough, God’s Word promises exactly those things for those who follow Jesus.

We were never meant to “fit in” in this world; we were meant to change it. And in our weakness and struggles, God shines brightest.

I like articles like this because they are truly "walk by faith and not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7) pieces. However, if you're someone who can totally relate to where she's (or I) am coming from, I want you to check out a pretty candid video. It's from a guy who regrets losing his virginity. I always like it when the fellas speak up because they bring a...raw honesty that we oftentimes don't hear from our own gender.

There a few times he had me cracking up!

Anyway, the reason why this particular piece has the picture quote that it does is because it's to serve as a reminder to virgins that *sex is for marriage ONLY* and when you begin your life with your husband, that is when GOD ORDAINS your sex life to begin too.

A huge part of the reason why you're struggling to give "it" up now is because the Word tells us that the thief *only comes* to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). Satan hates virgins. He knows how special, precious and rare that gift is. I can't tell you how many couples I counsel who don't trust each other as fully as they should and it's because they didn't protect one another while they are dating/courting one another.

That's why this post the picture quote that it does...
Sex was designed to begin *only* in marriage.

If you're a virgin, hopefully the video will give you a few things to think about...
If you're abstinent, don't grow weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9)...
If you're currently sexually active...you're not "making love". It's a trap.

God never designed sex to have regret or remorse attached it it.
Repent (I John 1:9-10) and abstain.

Purity is the gateway to unbelievable sex.
Don't settle for sexual sin.

Proverbs 12:4,