Tuesday, November 29, 2016

"On Fire": QUOTES OF THE DAY

You are a grown woman and you should take on that role with purpose and determination.:

Christian dating:

#Soulmate #Godly #relationship:

100 Inspirational and Motivational Quotes of All Time! (38):

Thank you Lord for shutting that door and giving me peace. I finally see why I had to let that go. The light cannot shine in darkness! I am not going to go back to a life of confusion and sin. It's perfectly clear to me now..I have a better understanding of how you take care of your children. Thank you Jesus.:

Marry someone who makes you fall in love with God every single day:

Great one by my buddy @wealthy_vibes. It's these days that define us! Follow…:

How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God for the rain? -Dieter F. Uchtdorf:


God Sends the Storm to Show He Is the Only Shelter - Inspirations:

Surround yourself with likeminded believers. Read how on today’s daily devotional for women ==> godlywoodgirl.com Motivation Quote:

@quitewomenco:

I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry, and accept an apology I never received.:

Come on young girls! Believe this! GODLY | Proverbs 31 Woman:

Pray Big Chalkboard Printable & Prayer Request Page - Hymns and Verses:

Heute würde ich einfach so gerne mit Dir den Abend verbringen - mich einfach nur übers Leben unterhalten - als wäre das ganz normal und alltäglich.:

If I date you, my goal is to marry you, build with you, grow with you, I'm not dating you to pass time, I see potential in you.:

Just because she has high standards doesn't mean she’s high maintenance. Don’t confuse the two. - Steve Maraboli:

Dreams and Ambition | @maryavenue7:

Totally LOVE this quote! #Truth #Quotes:

ριntєrєѕt: @αlrєadуtαkєnxσ♡:

Pinny@Kadri'Dray✨ Follow for more ʙᴀʙʏɢɪʀʟs:

I don’t do well with hints. You’re an adult. Speak your mind.

** curiano.com ** Visit Now! Collection of #Quotes, #Love Quotes, Life #Quote:

#Success #Quotes Chase Your Dreams @styleestate:

Love Notes To My Future Husband:

Nope I don't but I u on the other hand can't stop and all u can say is I'm fat Bitch please I still look better than u on my worst day....funny how u can't stop posting about me.....lmfao oh but I'm the one who needs to grow up bahahaha crazy how ur so delusional:

This Pin was discovered by Maria Paula Helmick. Discover (and save!) your own Pins on Pinterest.:

Strong women don't play the victim, don't make themselves look pitiful, and don't point fingers. They stand and they deal. ~Mandy Hale.:

Have the highest standard for your future husbands relationship with God.:

It's difficult to follow your dream. It's a tragedy not to.:

An Ounce of Prevention: Mad Wisdom from Jill Scott and Brandy in a Minute

Learn it bitch, a real woman can keep a great man and not make him hate you and still stay with you because you tell him if he leaves you he wont see his son. Hahah you are so stupid.:

"For even though by this time you ought to be teaching others, you actually need someone to teach you over again the very first principles of God’s Word. You have come to need milk, not solid food. For everyone who continues to feed on milk is obviously inexperienced and unskilled in the doctrine of righteousness (of conformity to the divine will in purpose, thought, and action), for he is a mere infant [not able to talk yet]! But solid food is for full-grown men, for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by practice to discriminate and distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary either to divine or human law."---Hebrews 5:12-14(AMPC)


So...

I was checking out some footage from Brandy's performance over the weekend and "happened upon" (Proverbs 16:33--AMPC) this video. WISDOM. Minute wisdom. It's basically this verse remixed: "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (I Timothy 4:12--NKJV)



And since this blog is covenant-marriage-centered, you might wanna check out a few pieces:

"7 Signs You're Not Mature Enough to Get Married" (gonna just include the list, click on the link to read it all):

You Tell Porkers 
You’re Selfish 
You Put Your Girls Before Your Guy 
You’re Jealous 
You’re Not Independent 
You Don’t Know What 
You Want You’re Lazy 

"'Run to the Altar' Syndrome: 10 Signs You’re Not Ready for Marriage" (excerpts):

If you’ve been to a grocery store check-out line, turned on the television, or even connected with friends on social media sites, chances are you’ve been inundated by the magazines, commercials, reality shows, advertisements, etc. portraying a fantasy-driven story line pertaining to marriage.

The entire objective of this media is to get you to buy in to the idea of marriage—that marriage is the epitome of a successful life, of being happy—and the only legitimate relationship status. And (oh, by the way) to buy the product they’re selling related to making your Big Day super-duper special. 

Chances are you’ve bought in---at least partially---to the romantic idea of an over-sized diamond ring, expensive wedding and that all will be good and golden once you are safely married. You’ll be blissfully happy, secure and together forever.

I don’t want to burst your marriage bubble, but lately it seems like people are rushing into marriage all too quickly, without thoughtfully considering what marriage is—and is not.

Marriages can be as different as the people who are in them, and many of them, of course, are both wonderful and enduring. However, when you do what I do for a living—work with people who experience heartache, financial duress, frustration and disappointment due to separation and divorce—you start to recognize the common denominators of those who were ready and those who should have taken more time to make this “forever” decision.


“Run-to-the-Altar Syndrome” Checklist

Wedding Day Fantasy
Better Than Nothing
Attention From Others
Know Thyself
Five Key Areas (That You Need to Discuss with 'Him')
Trust
Families
Communication Style
Life-long Playmate
Annoying Little Things


"8 Signs You Might Not Be Ready to Get Married" (just the list, click to read it all---a Jewish guy penned it):

If you’re serious about getting married and find that your dating experiences aren’t taking you to Chuppahland, perhaps it’s a good idea to pause, reflect, and correct course as needed. I dated a very long time before I finally met my bashert. Looking back, (hindsight is always 20/20) I can see that I wasn’t ready to receive the gift of my wife for a combination of the following reasons (see if any of these apply to you):

If you’re serious about getting married and find that your dating experiences aren’t taking you to Chuppahland, perhaps it’s a good idea to pause, reflect, and correct course as needed. I dated a very long time before I finally met my bashert. Looking back, (hindsight is always 20/20) I can see that I wasn’t ready to receive the gift of my wife for a combination of the following reasons (see if any of these apply to you):

I had several different jobs over the years and couldn’t find a career that was a “right fit”
My career was the most important thing to me.
I kept attracting the same type of person.
I didn’t want a “shadchan” or “middle person” involved. I wanted to “go it alone.”
I was too busy doing other things to arrange dates.
I was in the middle of a major life transition.
 Was I prepared to commit and pop the question?


And this next one is a winner because if God is not the center of your DATING relationship, then you are DEFINITELY not ready for marriage. As a relationships writer by the name of  Jenifer Fair recently said, "Dating is an interview process. Literally. Interview wisely because you can't fire them after marriage." YES!

When you raise your standards, only the boys will disappear. The men will step up to meet them.:

"7 Ways to Tell if You Are in a God-Ordained Relationship" (excerpts):

You Are Equally Yoked Christians
 

The operative word here is Equally yoked.  By this I mean you are both Christians for starters and are both in a similar place in your walk with Jesus.  If one of you walks closely with Him and the other barely knows Him, you are not Equally Yoked.  You must have a strong Spiritual connection with one another.  You must view and worship God in a similar fashion. You can talk openly about God and can spur each other on in your faith and walk with Christ.  You should be able to pray together as a couple and pray for one another when you are apart. This prayer should come naturally and without hesitation. I cannot emphasize enough how critical this point is. It’s not enough that both of you believe in Jesus Christ. If you are not equally yoked spiritually, your relationship will unravel quickly.

You Are Both Marriage Minded
 

You both share similar goals about marriage; you are both ready for it. The time frame should be within one to two years at the most. If neither of you are ready for marriage, why are you dating? Recreational Dating is not advisable for Born Again Bible Believing Christians; it only leads to sin, which dishonors God, then God doesn’t bless the union. This ends up causing long term issues in the marriage by blurring the lines between lust and love.

Once lust and the physical aspect has already been introduced in the relationship, the waters are muddied and both parties cannot see or think clearly. This is also a warning sign that the relationship is not God-ordained.


You Are Both Marriage Minded
 

You both share similar goals about marriage; you are both ready for it. The time frame should be within one to two years at the most. If neither of you are ready for marriage, why are you dating? Recreational Dating is not advisable for Born Again Bible Believing Christians; it only leads to sin, which dishonors God, then God doesn’t bless the union. This ends up causing long term issues in the marriage by blurring the lines between lust and love.

Once lust and the physical aspect has already been introduced in the relationship, the waters are muddied and both parties cannot see or think clearly. This is also a warning sign that the relationship is not God ordained.

If only one of you is ready to get married, then you are incompatible and shouldn’t date.  This also turns into recreational dating for the one who isn’t ready to marry and a big waste of time for the one who is ready to marry. When an individual is ready for marriage after spending quality time with God in worship, sanctification, and service, nothing pleases Him more than to bring a suitable mate for that individual in the covenant of Marriage.

In Genesis 24:1-23, Abraham sent his servant to seek a wife for his son Isaac.  He was very choosy by sending his servant back to his country to find a suitable mate for his one and only son. Before meeting Rebekah, the servant said a prayer to God asking for wisdom.  Rebekah proved herself worthy when she served water to this servant and his camels. She unknowingly showed her diligence and work ethic which was the sign he was looking for in finding “The One.”
 

You Have Complete Peace
 

When your relationship is God ordained, it will be simple, uncomplicated, and should run smoothly. It won’t be perfect, but will seem effortless. Your schedules don’t collide. You both have time to go to church, serve God, and enjoy time together. Your lives converge easily without too much effort. Both your friends and families approve. There is no drama, fighting, or constant bickering. Peace will permeate your spirit when God ordains your relationship.   When you think about that person, you smile and thank God for bringing you a perfect and wonderful gift. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father…”  (James 1:17)

You Enjoy Being with That Person
 

Take away the iPhone, Facebook, Cable TV, games, and all media. If you were stranded on a deserted island with this person with only a bible, would you have the adventure of a lifetime or does getting a root canal seem more appealing?  This is the true test of compatibility. When you can sit with this person without distractions and physical intimacy and can laugh, communicate, connect, and enjoy yourself, you are on the right track, because you have the foundation of a Godly Friendship in place.

The thought of this person gets you excited spiritually and emotionally. Out of all the people you know, this person is the first person you want to share your victories and trials with. Their presence and their input is what you look forward to at the end of your day. You see Jesus in their countenance and demeanor.


Communication, Communication, Communication!
 

When it comes to Real Estate it’s Location, Location, Location!  But in a relationship, it’s Communication to the third power! You must be able to speak freely both ways.  The best communicators are active listeners. They are also great at articulating their thoughts and feelings through speaking and writing. It’s best to find someone who can communicate at your level and listens intently to your every word. After all, we have two ears and one mouth. The bible tells us it’s better to listen before speaking. 

Majority Approves
 

Most if not all your friends and family must approve of your mate. These are people who know you, love you, and want what’s best for you. Sometimes we can get emotionally and physically caught up in someone and not see the “Big Picture.” This is where our friends and family come in. Their opinions and insights count. Obviously, be cautious of those who are not basing their opinions on Biblical virtues. But otherwise, trust them! If a majority of them disapprove of your choice, God is trying to tell you something. Don’t ignore their opinions. They are God’s messengers for your protection. Your relationship will not thrive in a bubble or a vacuum. God did not intend that for any marriage. If anything, your relationship is meant to be an illustration to the world of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and love.


God Gives You a Supernatural Love for this Person
 

When God ordains a relationship, He gives you Supernatural examples to confirm His approval of your union. It won’t take years or months. Sometimes it’s a matter of hours or weeks to know you are in the presence of “The One.”  Now granted, if you met in high school, then it will take years, but when you are at an appropriate age, it doesn’t take long to figure it out if God is in the center of your relationship. A man will be overcome with the desire to see the woman more often, while the woman won’t have time to fret over his intentions or feelings. 

Ladies, if you are sitting around fretting over some guy who isn’t calling you or wanting to spend more time with you, give it to God. You could be wasting your precious time and energy on the wrong guy. Instead of being fixated on Mr. Wrong, focus on what you should be doing, which is serving God. 


The Takeaways:
 

1 – A Spiritual Connection centered on Christ and set apart by His precepts is a requirement in a God Ordained Relationship.
 

2 – Physical attraction and emotional connection doesn’t last and is not God’s main criteria in selecting a mate for you.
 

3 – God wants to bless you with a mate who will bring you closer to Him, not farther from Him. He will present the person who will bring you to a more intimate relationship with Him so He will be glorified through your union.
 

4 – Recreational Dating: leads to sin, doesn’t honor God, and prepares you more for divorce, than marriage.
 

5 – Communication either flows freely or it just doesn’t.  A communication blockage is a Red Flag!
 

6 – Majority Approval is a must! God reveals His truth through our family and friends when we no longer listen to Him.
 

7 – Wait on God’s choice for you! When God ordains it, it will be exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ask or think!  


My first book was about the very point that Miss Jill Scott made about the 20s, but being spiritually mature isn't about age. It's about your relationship with God, your respect for his Word and your willingness to embrace HIS TRUTHS about relationships, marriage and sex.

Please take heed and please choose wisely!

Proverbs 12:4,

SRW


An Ounce of Prevention: 'Headship & Submission: Is it an issue of competence or calling?'

Submitting to our husbands in marriage can be tough! It's not something that is widely talked about, and it takes some practice to get it right. If you've ever wondered how in the world you'll be able to give into submission in marriage as God intended, this post is for you! Click through to read some of the basics I have been learning on how to submit to my husband!:

Yeah...

I've been fond of Jackie Perry-Hill for a while. It's been amazing to watch her transformation. It reminds me so much of "A transformed woman will embrace the transforming God!" (Jeremiah 31:22(Message).

Anyway, she and her husband did a Periscope video and posted it yesterday on the topic of leadership and submission. I like this point that was brought up: "submission is a calling, feminism is culture". It reminds me of what William Wilberforce once said. He said that the problem with Christianity is that people follow faith and not culture and culture always changes. We're not to do what's popular. We're to do what's true...what's rooted in biblical truth (Luke 6:26--Message)---and submission is biblical truth:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."---Colossians 3:18(NKJV)

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."---Ephesians 5:22-24(NKJV)

Anyway, check it out. Some real gems in here...





Proverbs 12:4,

SRW


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

"On Fire": Did 'He' Reject You? Or Did God Protect You from Him?

Displaying rejection.jpg

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."---Song of Solomon 4:7(NLT)

Hey Ladies,

Whew! I can't BELIEVE how this year is soaring by! So, before getting into the message, let's do some housekeeping first.

1) If you've been rocking with the blog for a while, you probably notice that I haven't been posting as much as I used to. I write (and marriage counsel) more than ever, so time is not like what it used to be. I'm not sure if I'll be doing weekly posts or not (although I'll still be putting *at least* a couple of things up each month). Some weeks there might be several things and some weeks none. I will say this: I pen devotionals three times a week. That's consistent. If you want to get on the list, shoot me an email at missnosipho@gmail.com. I also devote Thursdays to marriage content with the devos. It's called "Marital Covenant Thursdays". If you'd like to receive those only, also send me an email. I will *try* and remember to just send you those each week (although that's an extra step on my part, so I might forget from time to time).

2) Speaking of devotionals, yesterday I penned one on midwives. Long story short, I know God has called me to covenant teaching and praying for people as it relates to covenant-keeping. If you'd like prayer for your situation, send me an email. Let me know what's going on, what you're desiring and how you'd like me to touch and agree. Going to be doing more interceding on this issue in 2017.

3) My inboxes are INSANE. So, if you're someone who was a part of a giveaway in 2016 and you never received "it", please let me know. Please charge it to the keep-up and nothing more, but do let me know. Definitely want to get the books squared up before this calendar year comes to a close.

Now to today's message..

Message me if you want to talk about the Bible :) Looking for a bible study…:


There is an author and relationship coach who both shared something that I discern is relevant---pertinent even---to today's message:

"Just because you do something in the name of love doesn't mean it's biblical. I did a lot of things my past in the name of love that were actually done in the name of selfish desire."---Jarrid Wilson

"Some women say, 'I'm waiting on God' when in reality, it's 'I've been doing things MY way and that's why I haven't attracted the right man.'"---Cheyenne Bostock

Amen, 50 times over, to both of these guys!!!

Just yesterday, I was talking to a friend of mine who's a relationship coach. I was telling him that a blast from my past (pun intended and not intended) has recently made it known that he wants to reconnect. It appears that he may be getting a divorce and at one point, we loved each other deeply.

Roy Disney once said "It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." Pretty sure everyone knows that a divorced individual is not an option for me because A) the Word says that divorced people should remain unmarried or be reconciled to the person they already made promises/vows to (which includes not just their spouse but God himself---I Corinthians 7:10-11, Ecclesiastes 5:1-7) and B) I'm not big on "regifting"; that's what I call returning to the scene of the crime of sexual sin, and sexual sin is indeed a spiritual crime and transgression...among other things (Hebrews 13:4, I Corinthians 6:9-10, Revelation 21:8). Not that I don't think that two people who have had sex with each before can't repent (I Corinthians 7:9-10), be restored and move forward. For me personally, I want my wedding night to be a surprise and not a rerun is all. Plus, I've witnessed firsthand in counseling how sex before marriage comes back to bite couples in ways they did not predict. Sowing and reaping are a spiritual science (Galatians 6:9). Be careful what you plant.

For these reasons, Yeah, I'm good on dude. Don't get me wrong. I've seen pics of him. He's still fine. I also know his family. He still seems to be a good guy. Lately, I thought about the fact that there were a few years following our...ending when I felt rejected (bookmark that) by both him and God. That's how much I wanted to be with him. It seemed pretty painful that we could be so close, "in love" and yet it couldn't work out.

Jarrid is right...
LOVE IS NOT TRUE LOVE IF THE BIBLICAL STANDARD IS BEING IGNORED.

Cheyenne is right...
THE RIGHT MAN COMES BY DOING THINGS THE RIGHT WAY---GOD'S WAY.

See, Satan lusts ('cause he doesn't "love" anything) for us to set out and doing things our way, it not work out and then we either blame God, distance ourselves from God or assume we are being rejected because we're not good enough. Hmph. The reality (Ecclesiastes 7:18--Message) is usually more along the lines of a quote by a person by the name of L.E. Kinzie that I read this just this morning: "Sin is having our loves out of order."

SIN. IS. HAVING. YOUR. LOVES. OUT. OF. ORDER.

Christ told us what our main love focus should be:

"'And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength.' This is the first and principal commandment. The second is like it and is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."---Mark 12:30-31(AMPC)

quotes about having the strength to move on - Google Search:

There are so many wives (I mean, like of epidemic proportion!) who did not get this down as single women. As a result, they are making their husbands completely miserable because they have made them---along with their unrealistic ideals and expectations about marriage---a god (Exodus 20:3). Because God was not the most important being and relationship to them on the front end of marriage, they are looking to a flawed human being to be their all and all now. That's too much pressure for ANY one human being to bear.

And when our loves are "out of order" as a single person, oftentimes the relationship we are in or the person that we want will not work out. Why? *Because God is not going to give us someone to worship*, and if we try and "force his hand" by exerting our free will over his divine one, oftentimes this is the result: "And He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their soul." (Psalm 106:15--NKJV) Far too many people want a relationship at the expense of their soul *or* soul salvation. IT'S. NOT. WORTH. IT.

THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP ENCOURAGES YOU TO GROW IN GOD...
NOT TEMPTS YOU TO DO WHAT WILL INFECT YOUR INTIMACY WITH HIM.

And so, sometimes, no matter how hard we try to make a relationship work or get a guy to notice or want us...things don't go as we plan. Satan wants us to think we're being *rejected* when really what we're being is *protected*.

Satan is a liar. The Ultimate One (John 8:44).
He wants us to to see relationships not working out as us being rejected:

Reject: to refuse to have, take, recognize, etc.; to discard as useless or unsatisfactory

God is our Heavenly Father and Possessor of all (Genesis 14:19).
He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) and is the Creator of marriage (Genesis 2:18-25). He wants us to be with someone who will love us as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5) so that our marriage can model to the world how love is to *truly* be (I Corinthians 13:4-8). Marriage, after all, is about HIM waaaaaay before it's about US.

And so, when things don't work out, go as planned, or happen in the time that we want (Ecclesiastes 3:11, Acts 1:7--Message), it's important to, yes, *reject the idea of you being rejected* and, instead spend time in prayer (I Thessalonians 5:17) about if what's *really happening* is you are being protected:

Protect: to defend or guard from attack, invasion, loss, annoyance, insult, etc.; cover or shield from injury or danger

YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (PSALM 139:14) BY THE MAKER OF YOU AND OF MARRIAGE! THERE'S NO WAY THAT GOD SEES YOU AS USELESS OR UNSATISFACTORY!

I will say this: There *are* some relationships that God may see that way in the sense that they are not purpose-filled. We have to remember that *everything* God does has purpose in it (Ecclesiastes 3), so if who you're wanting is not going to help you to fulfill your purpose and/or you're not going to help them to fulfill theirs (Psalm 20:4), because God's ways are not our own (Isaiah 55:8-11), sometimes he will put barriers up. To guard us, to cover us and to shield us. Until it's time for us to be BROUGHT/PRESENTED (Genesis 2:22) to the man who will see us, spiritually first as truly beautiful:

Beautiful: having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind; excellent of its kind; wonderful; fantastic; extraordinary; incredible

Marriage needs to be BEAUTIFUL in the eyes of God...
We should want to desire this *more than* being seen as DESIRABLE by any man.

We need to strive to work with God to guard our heart (Proverbs 4:23)...
Until the RIGHT man comes along.

Whatever you may be going through right now...
If you're tempted to feel rejected, hopefully this is your "way of escape" (I Corinthians 10:13).

You deserve more than *just* a relationship...
You deserve something that GOD FIRST finds to be truly beautiful.

You are precious to him...
Let him *protect you* until *he decides* that time is right!



Proverbs 12:4,

SRW


Wednesday, November 2, 2016

An Ounce of Prevention: (SAY THAT!!!) 'Reject the Dangerous Notion That Men Are Hunters and Women Are Their Prey'

We are in God's hands:

"Now the Lord God said, 'It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.' And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name. And Adam gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the air and to every [wild] beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh. And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. Then Adam said, 'This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.' Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence."---Genesis 2:18-25(AMPC)


I'm SO GLAD that I read this article below...

If you've been reading these for a while, you know that I have been *so over* men needing to be pursuers for a long time now. There are biblical examples of God-involved unions where the woman was actually the initiator (Ruth, Esther, for example) and even in God's blueprint for mankind, Adam did not pursue the Woman. AT ALL.

God decided Adam needed a woman.
God put Adam to sleep while he made his woman.
God awakened Adam and brought his Woman to him.

There's no telling how many people would avoid divorce court if they totally let God do the matchmaking instead of themselves...

Yet this article brings up another great point. It mentions that Adam was a *gardener* not a *hunter*. A garden is "a fertile and delightful spot or region" and isn't it fascinating that God first cultivated a relationship with Adam, gave him the position of caring for a fertile and delightful spot *and then* brought him a wife? Another *fertile and delightful spot*!

It reminds me a lot of the revelation I got about manna...

"And the house of Israel called its name Manna. And it was like white coriander seed, and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey."---Exodus 16:31(NKJV)

This was the diet that *God provided* for the Israelites prior to the Promised Land. Remember when they were slaves and they ate meat? Check it:

"And the children of Israel said to them, 'Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.'"---Exodus 16:3(NKJV)

Yeah, at another time, we'll have to get into how when it's time for us to prepare for what lies ahead, there are some people, places, things and ideas we *must* leave behind. No matter how much you might miss certain things, they're not good for you; they're counterproductive to God's plans for your future.

Anyway, so manna tasted like honey and the Promised Land was this:

"So I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to a good and large land, to a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites and the Hittites and the Amorites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites."---Exodus 3:8(NKJV)

In order for a husband to "cherish and nourish" his wife (Ephesians 5:22-33), doesn't it make sense that he should have a "gardener mentality" rather than a *hunter one*:

Hunt: to chase or search for (game or other wild animals) for the purpose of catching or killing; to pursue with force, hostility, etc., in order to capture (often followed by down); to search for; seek; endeavor to obtain or find (often followed by up or out)

Who wants to be treated like that?!

A part of the reason why I like "You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men" (I Corinthians 7:23--NKJV) is because it's a reminder that there are certain things that men are NOT deserving of UNTIL God blesses them with a man.

And a man and woman who let God lead?
NO HUNTING IS NECESSARY.

Now to the article...

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I am so tired of people pushing the whole “men are hunters” crap when it comes to relationships. It’s just not true. Even worse, this widely promoted belief is unhealthy for both men and women.

For my more religious brothers and sisters, please allow me to point out that Adam’s original job assignment was gardener, not hunter. He was assigned stewardship of the garden (not the hunting grounds) of Eden. So the idea that men do not have the capacity to nurture, and that creating and maintaining a caring, peaceful and healthy environment for others is the exclusive domain of women, is nonsense. Beyond that, to the degree that Eve is believed to be the original ancestor and prototype of all women, she was created to be a companion for Adam. Unlike the animals that populated the garden perhaps, she was not created to be hunted and captured by him. Eve was a gift from God, not a conquest of Adam.

On the other hand, being a hunter is practically synonymous with being a predator. This sets up a sinister premise: If the natural disposition of males is to be predators, that means that the natural role of females is to be prey. When predators (including sexual, emotional and financial predators) capture their prey, they are only focused on one thing: sating their appetite. Believe me, that does not mean treating the hunted with tender loving care and seeing to their health and well-being. It means devouring the prey, and once satisfied, abandoning the remains. Neither the desires nor the consent of the prey are priorities.

This is the underlying premise of sexual assault, intimate partner violence, infidelity, reckless promiscuity and other unhealthy, destructive and even deadly choices and behaviors. By rule, hunters may use any means at their disposal, ranging from deceit and subterfuge to traps and violence, to capture their prey. This is the kind of thinking that makes penis-led adult males (the polar opposite of Grown men as described in Loving In The Grown Zone, my book with co-author Zara Green) an ever-present danger to themselves and others.

The hunter/prey gender-role model is a dangerously unhealthy one for relationships. Moreover, it is a horrible way to frame how intimate relationships should be pursued and established, especially for young men and women (and yes, boys and girls) who are extremely vulnerable to images, messages and gender models of intimate romantic and sexual behavior. It reinforces and affirms that it is natural for men to view and treat women as conquests, trophies, objects to be toyed with until soiled and broken, and then discarded—and to measure their manhood accordingly.


Amen. And amen! Awesome soul food for thought...


Proverbs 12:4,

SRW