Here are some lil' unknown tidbits:
1) A book that played a role in my healing is is The Value in the Valley by Iyanla Vanzant.
2) When my first book came out, people used to call me "The Christian Iyanla Vanzant".
3) I was once on her show with a couple of friends of mine (her talk show, not Fix My Life).
4) My haircut right now? I'm not sure which one of us got it first but mine is the non-straight version. #hilarious
Basically all of this came to my mind when I checked out one of her latest episodes of Fix My Life on YouTube. I'm not really sure what initially made me what to watch it, but I'm glad I did because it connected the dots to something that I've never really had *total peace* with---until now. GOD BEING OUR HUSBAND.
Personally, I'm not even close to being a fan or a co-signer of "Jesus is my boyfriend". First of all, as y'all probably already know, I'm not big on boyfriends and secondly, *Christ is my Savior*. There's no way I would trivialize him like that. Yet the Spirit (John 4:24) being my/our Husband? There's not much pushing back I can do on that. It's in Scripture!
Yet Adonai is perfect (Deuteronomy 32:4), holy (I Peter 1:16) and yes, a Spirit.
So, there's *absolutely no way* that he could also be what an earthly husband is!
However, the video that I watched enlightened me to something (Psalm 18:28)...
Iyanla said, several times, that "we marry our fathers". I'll definitely say that I've sat in counseling sessions and seen evidence of this. Even with my own late father, while we had a good relationship on a lot of levels, he tended to put his needs before my own and so it taught me to not *require men* to back up their words with actual *action*. (How have the men you've been attracted to, dated and/or had sex with been like your own father?)
Yet as I was watching her guest for this particular episode and her own father interact...
I had an "ah ha moment".
If it *is* indeed true that we marry our fathers...
Since GOD IS OUR FATHER (we recognize that via The Lord's Prayer---Matthew 6:5-15)...
OUR STANDARD SHOULD BE TO MARRY A GODLY MAN.
There are some things that our future husbands can *never be* that God is...
Yet there are some things we should *never settle for less* that they should be:
Love (I John 4:16)
A Covenant-Keeper (Hebrews 10:16)
Faithful and True (Revelation 19:11)
One Who Will Never Leave or Forsake us (Hebrews 13:5)
Faithful Over His House (Hebrews 3:1-6)
Our Advocate (I John 2:1)
The Giver of His Name (for all who are thinking about keeping their maiden name-Mark 16:17-18)
The Filler of Wisdom and Spiritual Understanding (Ephesians 1:17)
Rich in Mercy (Psalm 136)
The Giver of Things to Enjoy (I Timothy 6:17)
Worthy of Praise (Psalm 18:3)
Our Bridegroom (Matthew 19:15)
This is just one more reason why, if you've involved with someone who does not show FRUIT (Matthew 12:33) of being a follower of Christ (Matthew 16:24, John 8:31-32), you DO NOT need to be with him (2 Corinthians 6:11-18)! If you do not heed this biblical instruction, there's a *far greater chance* that your flesh (James 1:14-15) will select a man who has the flaws of your father rather than the attributes of your Heavenly Father---the traits that we can only truly care about if we're *walking in the Spirit* (Galatians 5:16-17) and if we're using true spiritual discernment (I Corinthians 2:14).
I'm pretty sure that at least a few women have issues with their dads on some level. That's why I'm including the video that I watched:
They pulled it so click here to sign in and watch on OWN.
As single women, we have *the blessed opportunity* to heal and become whole for our future husbands (James 1:4). Some wives were *so obsessed* with getting married *first* that they didn't make this a priority.
If you know that you have challenges in your relationship with your eartly father, that you need to forgive your father (Matthew 6:14-15) or that he wasn't there and so you don't have much of a standard of what a godly man should be at all, shoot me an email (email@example.com). I'll be more than happy to "touch and agree" (Matthew 18:19-20) with you so that you *can* choose a man who is like your Heavenly Father!
His Purpose, His Presence, His Peace...