Don't Push...Just Yet!

“When a woman gives birth to a baby, she has pain, because her time has come. But when her baby is born, she forgets the pain, because she is so happy that a child has been born into the world.”---John 16:21 (NCV)

“If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.”---Nora Ephron


I don't foresee this being super-duper long. I just wanted to share a little---actually HUMONGOUS---revelation that God just gave me.

Those who are in my “inner court” and “temple” space know that I am big on using the term “midwife”---for so many things in my life. When God blesses me (Matthew 19:13-14) with another child (most of you know that a part of my testimony is that I aborted four in my past---I Timothy 4:14-16-AMP), I have always said that I wanted to go the midwife route. (Are you ready, Mrs. Jackson???) Mostly because I think God constructed labor the way that he did for a reason, and I know far too many women who have gone under the knife...whose doctors seemed to be more anxious to get the baby out (and not always for the most selfless reasons) than to let nature take its course. (Not in all cases, but I've done the research...it's many.)

Not too long ago, I had the extreme honor of going to see my soon-to-be-born goddaughter's mother about an hour after she had given birth to her second son. She didn't have enough time for the epidural to take and so she had to roll au naturale. I mean, I'm sure it was no trip to Disneyland (Genesis 3:16) but when I saw her and her son, they both seemed so alert...so alive. When it comes to my own children---both in the physical and creative---that is what I desire for them: to be so alert, so alive upon meeting this earth (they're gonna need it!).

And so, even when I am “creatively pregnant”, I call on midwives to assist me. I am working on a book right now and “she” has midwives. I have certain ideas re: purpose and “they” have midwives. There are dreams and desires deep within my soul and they, too, have midwives: people I trust who are spiritually-equipped to assist me in carrying them the most responsible and holistically healthy way possible AND will support me when it's time to “push them out” into this world.

Just a few hours ago, I called upon one of them (thanks A.Y.). You see, several people have implied that I am, what many women in their last trimester call, “nesting”. My sleep patterns are crazy, I have moments when I feel really uncomfortable and lately, there have been times when I have been experiencing some pains in my spirit. If I had to find a word for it, I guess the best one would be “anxiety”, but it's not quite like any kind of anxiety that I've experienced before. I know, when it comes to certain desires of my heart (Psalm 37:7), I am oh...about 7-8 months “pregnant”, but I also know that the Master Physician, the one who gave me this “child” to begin with, has said it's not yet time---the baby is not done developing. I must take to much prayer and rest. (Psalm 6:2, Philippians 4:6-7) And, I must wait...yes, as uncomfortable as it is, I must wait. (Psalm 27:14, 33:20)

Oh, but these random moments of pain. LORD, HAVE MERCY! I can be just fine one moment, going on about my life and then, I am belting over in tears, questioning myself (and this journey). The pangs were so bad today that I went to a couple of my “midwives” (and mid-husbands) for prayer...for counsel on what I should do because everything in me wants to rush this thing along; to hurry up and get this “baby” out. (I Corinthians 13:4)

This is why you need good friends in your space (Proverbs 17:17): When I called one of them and asked her to pray, it was while she was praying that the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:12) and this message came to mind:

“Shellie, it's just a little Braxton Hicks contractions”, I heard in my spirit. “It's practice for what's to come. You're not ready to give birth, but those are tell-tale signs that you almost are. Your human trinity is preparing...that's all.”

SHUT IT!!! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING??? Surely God really does do nothing without revealing himself to his children! (Amos 3:7) First, he sent me to the person who knew what to prescribe (the right kind of prayer) and out of that prayer, came revelation knowledge (this is why your friends don't need to be not just “nice people”, but holy).

OK, so I'm not going crazy. I'm not headed towards a back-slidden state (one day we'll have to talk about how that term semi-annoys me). I am just in the last trimester of a certain “miracle” and while it's almost time, it's not time. My human trinity (mind/body/spirit) wants to push in response to the pain (anxiousness, impatience, excitement), but God is still creating...developing...preparing. It's almost time, but not just yet. And, as my mother often says: The right thing at the wrong time IS the wrong thing. (Acts 1:7---Message) It wouldn't be the best idea to rush this thing...especially by stressing myself (forcing this baby) out. Yes, premature babies are blessings too, but they require a lot more work and attention than the ones that are fully-developed (please mentally bookmark that for years to come!).

THANK THE LORD FOR HIS LOVE, GRACE, MERCY AND REASONING SKILLS!!! (Isaiah 1:8)

The really “God thing” is that the Creation Week message for today was on water, right? As I was doing research on what causes Braxton Hicks contractions, one of things it said was that the women who experience them tend to be dehydrated. Selah! Now catch this:

“A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, 'Give Me a drink.'

For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, 'How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?' For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.


Jesus answered and said to her, 'If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.'


The woman said to Him, 'Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?


Jesus answered and said to her, 'Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.'”---John 4:7-14 (NKJV)


With all of the devotionals that I push out, I would've never thought I might've been spiritually dehydrated, but I get what God is saying to me (what this reveals to you may be something entirely different): I need to spend some quiet time letting him minister to me about this “baby” in particular. Sometimes pregnant women are so busy going on about life that they forget to take care of themselves; that there is a season when they and their “baby” are top priority.

Don't you love God...and how he meets us where we are? I know I do!

Well, let me go get some “water” and take a nap for a little bit. I got a “baby” to take care of.

Yes Lord, thy servant heareth! I won't push...just yet, but I certainly will prepare for when it's time to.

Amen...Hallelujah...AMEN.

©Shellie R. Warren/2009