Of Great Worth (A PSA for All Ladies)

“Over and over again mediocrity is promoted because real worth isn't to be found.”---Kathleen Norris

OK. I haven't “straight up blogged” in a minute...for a lot of reasons. But today, I will make an exception because, while I am more than certain that I could put this into devotional form, I wanted to write this in a way that ALL WOMEN could really get it (since unfortunately, a lot of people don't esteem the Bible as the “instruction book” for their lives).

In this season, I am learning a lot about boundaries---especially setting the ones that I need for myself. I have a lot of flaws, but the more time I am spending with myself, the more I am coming to realize that I have a lot of good in me, too. I love intensely. I give unconditionally. I create passionately. These are just a few things that immediately come to mind. But, after reading an email that I recently received, I realized that I also take a lot of crap from people...consistently.

Now, let me interject with a biblical parable for just a second (I can't really help it. I'm in love with God and so I tend to talk about him a lot...kind of like how some of you are about guys who don't even give you half the amount of time/interest that God's trying to...OK). One of my all-time favorites is actually only a couple of sentences long:

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.”---Matthew 13:45-46 (NKJV)

Now, I have always related to a pearl. For one, it's my birthstone and aside from that, after realizing all that a pearl goes through to become something so precious (basically, a FOREIGN OBJECT gets into an oyster, the substance is covered with nacre and the layers build into the shell and eventually become a pearl)...oh, I can certainly relate! I have had more than a few “irritants” and “foreign objects” come into my heart/soul space. To avoid giving them more energy than they deserve, I boldly proclaim that I am now a pearl and have earned the right to the title---and the merchant who will make the investment to obtain me.

However, it wasn't until a certain email came into my inbox recently, that I really got it; “it” being what my Creator has been trying to tell/show/reveal to my all along. Basically, it was a guy telling me that he didn't have time to be a good friend...let alone anything else. Now keep in mind, when he can get something from me, he's got ALL KINDS OF TIME, but if he can't directly benefit...he's ghost. He went on to explain that I either needed to accept him being that way, or he will understand my moving on.

ACCEPT YOU BEING MEDIOCRE? Or do I end that with a “.”? Shoot, I don't even know if I should process that in question (waiting for an answer) or statement (it's not even worth discussing) form. A pearl in your space that you are not willing to treat as precious, invaluable, special...WORTH IT???

Let me see. (Tick...tick...tick...ding
!) No thanks, dude. I'll pass.

And you know the “funny” thing? I'm not even mad at him. He is obviously very ignorant and has been severely mis-educated about the purpose and value of a woman. I mean, why step up to the plate when so many women are throwing themselves at you? Why do the work when you are obviously emotionally/spiritually/ph
ysically lethargic? Why invest more when no one is requiring that you do...for you to get the returns that you have?

No, who I am tempted to sucker punch are the myriad of gals that conditioned his mind to be bold enough to send me such a half-a...half-hearted response. Do you see what your desperation is doing to our men (black, white, Latina, Asian...whatever)? IT'S EMASCULATING THEM. Your over-accommodating...your “at their beck and calling”...your “Sure, you can get my goodies for dinner and movie-ing”? It's making them poor relational appraisers. They are so disillusioned now that they can't even tell the difference between a real gem and junk jewelry; to them, they are one is the same.


I'm sick of cosigning on it. I'm sick of suffering for it. Shoot, I'm even sick of over-analyzing it. What's to think about? I'm a pearl and pearls don't cast themselves before swine. (Matthew 7:6) One definition of “swine” is “a coarse, gross, or brutishly sensual person”. Me and that? Yeah, they don't mix. Prostitutes get pimped...queens don't.

Yes, I am at this resolve...finally. Therefore, I didn't write this for me so much as a public PSA for the rest of you who are currently riding the fence. Either you know your worth or you don't. Either you're gonna set some standards or you're not. Either you're gonna BE A WOMAN or you're gonna be...less-than-a-woman. But this middle of the road stuff is just serving as a stumbling block to those of us who are actually trying to get somewhere; who are not looking for a spring break fling, but an actual honeymoon. PLEASE, MOVE TO ONE SIDE (Hoochieville) OR THE OTHER (Commitmentville). GET OUT OF THE WAY.

Oh, and do us a favor and take those weak, trifflin, lazy, greedy, spiritually-compromised men (men?) with you....the ones who obviously do not have enough of a backbone to refuse your ill ways. It's full speed ahead now...we would hate to hurt them (by running over them with our self-worth) anymore than you already have (by taking theirs away).

That's it. I'm done. Angry? Eh, more like fed up and when you tend to overeat, on anything, for too long, a throw-up experience usually follows. Oh, but like a dog returning to his vomit, I shall not be.

Queens dine on cuisine...at a KING's table. And I know I'm of great worth—that worth.

Amen. And amen.

©Shellie R. Warren/2009